“D/s is much like a plug and outlet. The one getting things stuck into it is actually the source of all the power. ????”

— 1SadisticLover (via 1sadisticlover)

I am so not a Dom then!  I might talk big about D/S but as a non-Dom Daddy I see this completely differently!

I see D/Lg as a power exchange!  I see D/S that way too.  We start out 50/50.  We stay 50/50.

I compare it to ballroom dancing.  You give me the lead, and I take it.  But you don’t just go limp, right?  I actively make choices, and you just as actively follow them.  Sounds simple enough, right?

If we’re ballroom dancing and you don’t like how I’m leading you can sabotage or stop or even walk off the dance floor, right?  Same with D/Lg or D/S.

But here’s where the “you have all the power” thing breaks down.  If I don’t like the way you’re following I can walk off the dance floor too, can’t I?

If a lead dancer or a top can step away where does the follower’s “all the power” go?

If you’re not both contributing equally there’s no power at all.  If you are both contributing equally – if you’re exchanging power, duh! – then enough power’s created to put all the stars in the sky!

Going to push back a little on a big assumption behind “the one getting things stuck into is the source” part too. 

What happens to the “source of power” argument when she uses her mouth to edge him till he’s a writhing, whimpering, begging mess?   What happens to the “source of power” argument when a Dominant woman sticks her male Sub’s “plug” in her "socket” and rides the hell out of him? (Contrary to “femdom” tropes in porn, pegging isn’t all that common.)

Bottom line: I’m not a Dom though I played one for years.  But I still think Doms and Subs exchange power, 50/50.