Actual Conversation

Him: Have you ever been with a real Master?

Me: Define ‘real,’ please…

Him: I have a dungeon room in my house.

Me: That’s great. But those are toys. Surely you know that doesn’t make one a Master…?

Him: I’m getting the feeling you top from the bottom.

Me: Actually, not at all. I think it’s manipulative. When I’m in a relationship I’m very obedient – and expect transparency. But I understand the dynamic well and want to make sure someone is a good fit – and that we view things the same way.

Him: That’s a top from the bottom attitude. Good luck to you.

Me: lolbye


This is why I always capitalize Sub as well as Dom.  Same with Slave, Little, Masochist, etc.  Because what’s the magic word behind, you know, submission?

I don’t care much for the whole “submission is a gift” meme because by the same standard domination is also a gift.  The gift meme is a good half step up from the entitlement Mr Masterly McMaster seemed to be laying on @subgirlygir.  But the real point of submission is it’s a goddamn choice.

“Do you submit?  Yes, I submit.”  Doesn’t get much more choice-y than that, does it?

So where the fuck does “topping from the bottom” come in when there’s no agreement to bottom at all?  That’s not topping, that’s just plain old-fashioned relationship negotiation.

Putting it in vanilla terms makes it even more obvious.  "We need a place to have a rave, can we use your place?” “Will you help cleanup the next morning?”  “Woah, woah, woah, good luck to you with that bossy attitude!”