Actual Conversation
Him: Have you ever been with a real Master?
Me: Define ‘real,’ please…
Him: I have a dungeon room in my house.
Me: That’s great. But those are toys. Surely you know that doesn’t make one a Master…?
Him: I’m getting the feeling you top from the bottom.
Me: Actually, not at all. I think it’s manipulative. When I’m in a relationship I’m very obedient – and expect transparency. But I understand the dynamic well and want to make sure someone is a good fit – and that we view things the same way.
Him: That’s a top from the bottom attitude. Good luck to you.
Me: lolbye
Ahahaha!
This is why I always capitalize Sub as well as Dom. Same with Slave, Little, Masochist, etc. Because what’s the magic word behind, you know, submission?
I don’t care much for the whole “submission is a gift” meme because by the same standard domination is also a gift. The gift meme is a good half step up from the entitlement Mr Masterly McMaster seemed to be laying on @subgirlygir. But the real point of submission is it’s a goddamn choice.
“Do you submit? Yes, I submit.” Doesn’t get much more choice-y than that, does it?
So where the fuck does “topping from the bottom” come in when there’s no agreement to bottom at all? That’s not topping, that’s just plain old-fashioned relationship negotiation.
Putting it in vanilla terms makes it even more obvious. "We need a place to have a rave, can we use your place?” “Will you help cleanup the next morning?” “Woah, woah, woah, good luck to you with that bossy attitude!”
