Telling a lesbian that sexuality is fluid is like telling a bisexual it is just a phase.

Either way, you are policing the legitimacy of someone’s sexuality.

This is so wonderful! Sexuality isn’t particularly “fluid.”

Sure, we say it as a not-surprising reaction to the notion that sexuality is either binary or broken. And it made sense when people began discovering they weren’t as straight, or, sometimes, as gay as they grew up thinking they had to be.

But just because we had hyper-rigid stereotypes doesn’t mean that (for instance) lesbian are even slightly romantically or sexually interested in men.

I’ve mentioned this before but as a teenager my first gay friend and I bonded over being ostracised for not being interested in “loving everybody.”  We were both pretty stung for not fitting in with our circle of friends who were very into David Bowie era “bisexual chic.”  Peer pressure can be a hell of a thing but based on our admittedly small sample of two, neither “pray away the gay” nor “pray away the straight” moved our needles even a little bit.

Point of all this being that even though sometimes it takes us a while to find it we’ve all got our spot somewhere on the Kinsey Scale.  It’s not exactly helpful to deny anyone their spot.