anon who got blasted for pointing to the double standard of all the hellfire damnation against a woman who uses her wiles to get sex yet men DO THIS ALL THE TIME and we s types are told we should have vetted, we got in too fast, we shouldn’t believe men because they lie in the beginning. wasn’t saying she was right, but I was saying that there are now four screens and two days of posts ranting on her whereas women get a “poor dear, you ran into a bad one eh?” Nobody calls it rape when men do it.

Wait!  What?  It’s a whole array of crimes when men do it, same as women.  Who besides strawmen says it’s not?

Also, “wiles?”  WTF?

Assuming this is about the person who bragged earlier about “purposely forc[ing] my ex to have sex with me and lose his virginity” and also taking “the one thing he had that he couldn’t get back lol” where do “her wiles” come into it?

As for anyone… anyone who runs into someone asshat enough to dismiss a non-consensual encounter with “poor dear, you ran into a bad one eh?” I’d recommend

  • frosting them in person with a clear explanation of consent, harassment, gaslighting, and assault, and also not being an asshole 
  • if they’re on Tumblr, passing them along to @toodomforyou and others so they can be roundly mocked, shamed, and, preferably, shut down

Also, I’m pretty fucking sure warnings about vetting, going into things carefully, and not implicitly trusting tops isn’t limited to women Subs.  Submission and other forms of bottoming are just kinks, not gender, not identity, not chromosomes.  

Bottoms need to be careful, period, because bottoms put themselves in positions (sometimes literal positions!) of physical vulnerability, and do so with partners who, even with the best intentions, are still fallible humans and therefore capable of causing everything from benign neglect to lasting, traumatic injury.

To put it in completely non-kink terms, a rollercoaster isn’t even human but you still want to vet it before you strap yourself into it.  If it’s not safe you could get hurt.  Same with a human top.  Any kind, any sex, any gender, any orientation, any experience level.

Ugh!  There are definitely hordes of asshole men out there.  That’s not even debatable. And when they show up in our Asks we shut them down, just like we shut down women who do the same thing.

Consent’s consent.  Boundaries are boundaries.  Respect is respect.    Giving anybody a pass when they do it isn’t progress.