BDSM 101: Meeting Both Partners Needs While In Your D/s Relationship

onelittlekingdom:

I find myself speaking to an ever increasing number of submissives that express that their needs are not being met within their D/s relationships, who seem to feel powerless to change things due to their position. While a Dominant holds the power within D/s relationships, it is important to remember that He/She is obligated to use that power to satisfy the needs of BOTH parties within the relationship. This means that if you, as a submissive, need loads of attention within your relationship, that you deserve to have that need fulfilled by your Dominant, as best He/She can. This means that if you, as a submissive, don’t agree with decisions that are being made by your Dominant within your relationship, that you are obligated to speak up, and negotiate until you are satisfied that your needs or desires are being properly addressed, and dealt with. This means that if you, as a submissive, are feeling the void of any need or desire that is not present within your D/s relationship, that you are obligated to communicate them to your Dominant, so that He/She may have an opportunity to fulfill them, and make it a happier relationship. As a submissive, you have the right to have a D/s relationship that meets your needs, and makes you a happy partner within it. Any Dominant that holds that your needs are not as important as His, within your chosen dynamic, lacks an understanding of how healthy D/s relationships work. Any Dominant who dismisses your concerns in an offhand way, within your chosen dynamic,

lacks an understanding of how healthy D/s relationships work. Any Dominant who thinks you, as a submissive, should not have an equal voice within your chosen dynamic, lacks an understanding of how healthy D/s relationships work. Ultimately, if you communicate your needs and desires to your Dominant, and are not satisfied that He/She is taking you seriously, or making all efforts to make changes that will help fulfill you within your relationship, you have an obligation and duty to yourself to reclaim your submission, and go looking for a Dominant who will care for you the way in which you deserve to be cared for. 

It should be remembered that submission is a gift, not a prison sentence. While you may not hold the power in your relationship, you always have a voice. Use that voice, and expect effort and results from your Dominant. Lacking either, see to yourself, and go find a Dominant who will create a happy relationship WITH YOU, not just for themselves. 

JD???? 

It should be remembered that submission is a gift, not a prison sentence. While you may not hold the power in your relationship, you always have a voice. Use that voice, and expect effort and results from your Dominant. Lacking either, see to yourself, and go find a Dominant who will create a happy relationship WITH YOU, not just for themselves.

If you’re not able to do this you’re not in a D/s relationship.  If your Dom doesn’t get this he or she is not your Dom, and you need to either reset or move on.  In even the deepest power-exchange relationship the Sub chooses to relinquish his or her power.

And for Doms?  If your Sub doesn’t get this he or she is not your Sub.  You need to reset or move on too.