Bratty Subs 101: Why Dominants Shouldn’t Take Bratty Behavior Personally



AKA: Why Submissives Need To Be Tinkers

Many a novice dominant has witnessed their submissive push back against their will, or break established rules, and given themselves a time out to cool down before doling out punishment for the bratty behavior. It’s tempting when these times come, to take your submissive’s behavior personally, and to ask yourself why your submissive isn’t being respectful to you or, well…. submissive?

A submissive’s mind, which exists in a space where she has little control, and has to navigate around rules which you have placed there for her betterment, often works very much like the mind of a child. 

When children are told that they are forbidden to do something, their very first reaction is often to immediately do what they have been told not to. They have a hunger to know right away why they have been forbidden to do that thing, and need to see the consequences both from the act of doing the thing they’ve been told not to, and the ramification from their authority figure. 

A submissive is a tinker at heart. She needs to understand, and test the limits of her relationship. It’s as if she woke up one day in a locked room which contained everything necessary for her to be happy and healthy. Upon discovering she has everything provided for her, she will still need to try and pick the lock on the door, or try to climb out the window, so she can witness what is on the other side. 

Everyone’s submissive, at one time or another, will test the limits of their dominance. They need to know why you have made this rule for them, how swift your fury will be if it is not obeyed, and what form the punishment will take. There isn’t anything personal about it, so try not to take it too personally. They just need to test the limits of the figurative box you have created for them, and take stock of how it all works. 

So don’t take that bratty behavior to heart. Show her how it works by doling out swift, but cool headed punishment. If she wants to know how it all works so badly, it’s your job to show her. So instead of getting frustrated, or angry, politely thank her for giving you an opportunity for reminding her who is in charge, and give her what she wants – a better understanding of her relationship, and how it all works. Enjoy your punishment Princess – this is how it all works.



A newbie Dom might think his bratty Sub is merely “stubborn.”  When he’s older, more experienced, and more naturally confident about his own kink he’ll get that bratty Subs are still Subs.  (Maybe it’s because I’m a Daddy but this just doesn’t seem like all that hard a concept to grasp.  Or adjust to.)