At some point, I’m just wondering, how many people don’t understand what consent is and how hypnosis is supposed to work.
Like, if I post on my tumblr, “covertly try to hypnotize me” and then you come into my DMs with a link to a spiral, it’s consensual because I already said yes to it.
If I didn’t, and you hopped in my DMs with a spiral, it wouldn’t be consensual and that would be a form of abuse.
Things I’ve experienced:
– Random usage of dropped triggers
– Completely going off discussion and ignoring boundaries
– Literally watched someone go, “well communicating means my TRIGGER HEAVY induction won’t work, and I’m actually going to be pretty much like an abuser” without realizing proper consent is important
– Mislabeled or unlabelled files with forced slavery or feminization
– Fucking bullshit with trying to “make another personality” without permission
– Forced unconsenual masturbation
– Forced Nudes
– Tried to literally break my relationship up
– Random Messaging when I said I was at dinner in an attempt to trance me
Consent isn’t just important, it stops you from being a fucking predator. Like, what the fuck.
And because of it, and because Tists are dumb and assholes. Subs, here’s some tips.
First off: Look for a reputation. If the person’s been called creepy or pushy, chances are they’re not good. Sometimes just asking about the guy will get you like, DMs. Look out for posts detailing abusers and predators.
Second: Establish firm boundaries, make sure the person can remember them after conversing. It might seem weird, but, if someone can’t take the time to remember what you don’t want, then they shouldn’t be having that power over you. They should keep notes on it.
Three: Make sure you can keep the boundaries yourself. Sometimes it helps to record yourself a little audio thing, or write yourself a post. One of the major things in the community should be safety, and whilst it’s easier for a live person to take you deep, if you can give yourself some safety triggers, it’s better than nothing.
Four: Write important things down. Hypnotic Amnesia is popular, and until you’re sure you can trust the person, it’s best to be safe than sorry, write down what your name is, how old you are, and anything else that you’re worried on forgetting, including your boundaries.
Five: Set a session length, or a time you need to go, and then set an alarm for that time before you start. Make sure it’s something loud and you’d notice being intrusive. This is actually good for responsibilities too, because time can fly and you might need to go to dinner with your family or something. Also give yourself time to practice self care to avoid sub drop.
Six: Don’t be afraid to cut someone off if they creep you out or you feel uncomfortable. Even if it’s just the fact the person uses too many smileys. Your comfort matters, and you’re not going to vibe with everyone.
Seven: First sessions should be light, introductory, and you should know exactly what you’re getting into. If you’re confused, ask questions.
Eight: Get to know one another. It seems weird if it’ll only be one time, but, knowledge helps. If they’re willing to take the time to talk before a session, that’s good.
Nine: Friendships are good. Whether it be Subs or Tists, having friends in the community gives you places to go to when things go wrong. Don’t be afraid to message someone in the community to try and be friends.
Ten: Speak out. If you see someone getting taken advantage of, or experience it, tell people. It’s better to let the community know there’s a predator, and it helps for anyone in step one.
Eleven: Sub Drop. This isn’t actually about predators as much as it is about mental and physical self care. Intense emotions and activities can give you a really good euphoria. When you come down suddenly or you don’t let yourself slowly fade out while relaxing, being comforted, you can experience sub drop. Personally, I’ve never had it, but I’ve been around folks who have. Set things up beforehand so you can have aftercare. Even if it means making yourself some nice coffee and wearing your favourite robe. Give yourself some time to recover from the impact of the session.
Twelve: What works for you, works for you. Don’t be pushed into things you don’t like/don’t find work. Advice is free, your experiences and ideas matter. If you can’t do X, you can’t and that’s fine. Personally, I find Step 9 difficult because of my neurodivergence and my anxiety. Friends are hard to make. But I’m very good with one and three.
Thirteen: Stay safe, have fun. Make sure to drink lots of fluids n take care of yourself. This should be enjoyable for you, regardless of kink, or recreational. It should be fun, and good.
I know there are better guides out there, but I hope this helps! I wish you all the best.
I don’t actually know much about hypno kink, though when I was a little kid hypnosis sounded awesome! This discussion of hypnosis boundaries and limits seems like a very good introduction.
You can learn a lot about a kink from an expert’s caveats.
Being Poly isn’t a life choice people make to enable them to have sex with multiple people.
Being Poly is admitting to yourself that you have the capacity to love and care for more than one partner, choosing to pursue multiple relationships, and doing your very best to see that each of those partners feel loved and fulfilled in the individual relationships you build with them.
Being Poly isn’t about exploring sex with multiple people.
Being Poly is about exploring love with multiple people
JD
This! The proper term for rubbing bits together people who aren’t your partner is “swinging.” Or maybe “fucking around.” Or even, you know, “infidelity.”
Once you get it’s not all about sex, and sometimes it’s not about sex at all, you realize polyamory’s been around for a very long time.
Once you get it you realize that a lot more people are poly than most people imagined. Anddddd… also a lot fewer!
Just a head’s up for all the guys who worry about being “manly” or not being “masculine” and “will not putting a ‘gas, grass, or ass’ bumper sticker on my car make me look gay?” Something like 40% of women in Western Civilization and elsewhere would cheerfully peel this man out of his white duck pants and fly-collar polo and not let him up till they’d had his baby.
Wear what you want. Say what you want. Do what you want. Don’t worry what anyone else thinks. That’s all you need to know about being a “real” man. Ok. That and shower occasionally and don’t get too full of yourself.
How many times to people in the English speaking world actually mean to type “duck” anyway, vs all the times they actually wanted to type “fuck” or “dick?”
I just did a voice-to-text test on my phone and it transcribes “fuck” just fine. So it’s not just Apple or Google being prissy. It’s just autocorrect being incorrect.
So… what the duck, autocorrect? Don’t be a duck. Duck you, you limp-ducked duckwad.
Pro tip from an older, experienced gentleman for low-information, zero-experience boys: There’s generally a pussy between a girl’s legs. And a butthole. And maybe a little butt-crack lint if you’ve been wearing flannel pajamas. And that’s about it. No butterflies. No secrets. Just a little anatomy.
Not to be a grumpy Daddy or anything but anyone who imagines your only “secrets” are between your legs they’ve got a pretty goddamn low opinion of you, don’t they?
Look. It’s ok to like assholes with shitty opinions. Or to be attracted to them. Or even to prefer them over everyone else. Lots of people do!
But you don’t have to listen to them, you don’t have to respect them, and you sure as hell don’t have to believe them.
