“Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk – you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.”
— What To Look For In a Guy: The Right Man You Should Date or Marry (via thelovewhisperer)
And vice-versa
indeed ^
Yup. I seem to remember someone saying everyone looks their best when facing trial by jury. I’d add the same is true in the infatuation phase of a relationship. (In this case “infatuation” means not just theirs but yours.)
If you’re going to commit seriously then… I dunno if you want to literally provoke them to anger because manipulation much? But you can learn a lot from how they treat wait staff at a restaurant or cafe, how they behave while driving in heavy traffic, and, yeah, if they drink you really want to know what they’re like when they’re drinking because that stuff mutates people. (If you both drink a lot turn that around and see what they’re like when they’re sober.)
Also, before coffee. Because they’re not gonna be drunk every day, and they’re not going to be angry (or better not be!) But every morning they’re going to be before coffee. You’ll want to know that too.
And hat’s off to @aflawedmind and @danipup for pointing out that it’s not just guys you want to vet when they’re not on their best behavior.
