Do you think a Dom should try to have sex with their sub after a punishment? My Dom does this a lot. Like after a spanking (which is what my punishment usually is). I don’t like it. It makes me feel distressed and I don’t really get aroused. My Dom says it’s to help move on from the punishment but it’s starting to make me not want to have sex at all

instructor144:

No, I think it is an incredibly bad idea. Aftercare is appropriate, not sex.

if it’s legit punishment?  And the anon doesn’t like it?  Then no.

Actually, if you just don’t want sex for any reason, period, then hell no.

D/S can be a little tricky in the sense that, yeah, sometimes there’s that “submit even when you don’t want to” thing.  I’m not saying that’s a problem.

But D/S, like any kink, like any sex or relationship, needs to be satisfying to all parties.  The anon wouldn’t be expressing concern if they found their Dom’s behavior satisfactory.  That’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish.

So not just no but hell no.

The Anon’s gotta have a conversation with their Dom about that!  And the Dom seriously needs to listen.

This is a bit of a personal trigger for me, by the way.  I have exactly zero chemistry for “makeup” sex after a conflict.  Arguing knocks my libido right out from under me.  And especially since I’m not into punishment in the first place, the idea of arguing so bitterly, or being so angry or stern with someone I felt I had to punish-punish and not “funishment” punish them, sex afterward would be downright gross!

Consensual non-consent can be hottt with three t’s!  Plain old-fashioned non-consent is somewhere between fucking creepy as hell and, you know, criminal sexual assault.