D/s relationships 101: It is inappropriate to ask someone you’ve just met to be your dominant.



D/s relationships are based on trust. You can’t trust someone who you are just meeting for the first time. Trust is earned, and it takes time to build trust.


Perfectly stated. All relationships take time to build, not just D/s. Someone may seem like a good friend at first, and maybe they are, but it takes time for that relationship to flesh out and really take shape. While someone may seem ideal as a partner at first, as you get to know each other you may realize that they’re better suited to be a friend or perhaps not be in your life at all.

There are so many predators out there, lurking in the shadows and preying on unsuspecting submissives and Dominants. It happens to Doms just like it happens to subs, just not in the same ways.

Take your time with someone. It’s okay to move slow. It’s even okay to play around and have fun with someone that you feel chemistry with, but don’t take it too far. Use your head, not your heart or your lust. 

Make sure that someone has your best interest in mind. Make sure they’re someone that you feel makes you a better person. Make sure you feel safe and happy.

If you don’t, don’t bother.

So many things it’s inappropriate to ask when you’ve just met.  If someone asked “will you cosign my mortgage” you’d be rightly wary.  How the hell could you possibly know them well enough to take on such a responsibility until you knew each other well enough to have established a pretty good relationship.

Well… same with asking someone to either be their Dom or Sub.