Everyone says women have a hard time coming during intercourse, but…

Having learned how to have sex with another person I’ll be damned if I’m going to stop having sex with a partner so I can wank on her face while she sits there looking like “exactly how long do I have to keep pretending this is doing anything for me” and “don’t get it in my hair, asshole!”

Honestly I’m perfectly fine not coming at all!

Because… what are you going to have to fantasize about the next night you’re home?  Like “yeah, I had… a great wank last night, it was just like the one I’m having now … yeah, I did all the work while my girlfriend sat there looking bored?”  I mean… what… is meta-wanking its own kink now?

Call me a cranky older gentleman but just because they do it in porn doesn’t make it a good idea.  I like sex with someone.  Because that’s sex!  Sex near someone isn’t even a thing.

I’m old fashioned that way.

Grumble, grumble, gripe, gripe.