Hi, I actually asked a question before. But wanted to just clarify please. If my Master say that being my Master doesn’t mean he can’t fuck other girls. Is that normal in some scenarios. I don’t like it, but he says that it is his privilege to do what he wants. And out of respect for me he may tell me when he does. But I have him my trust … are there some Dom/sub relationships where the sub wouldn’t mind this behaviour? Just wanted to know if it is just my overreaction.
The idea that he can unilaterally decide he’s free to fuck other women is absurd. It would be a different story if both of you decided that one of the parameters of the relationship was that he was free to fuck other people, but that doesn’t sound like the case here.
Mantra time: “A BDSM relationship is still a relationship.” All the rules for vanilla relationships actually still apply to kink. To BDSM. For that matter, all the rules for vanilla relationships apply in poly relationships!
And no, just because many vanilla rules are disregarded in vanilla relationships doesn’t give you permission to disregard them too! (Consider that most vanilla relationships last less than 5 years – it’s not because of the rules!)
Anyway. Implicitly or overtly, all lasting relationships are based on consensus. They’re based on communication, affection, conviviality, respect, and consideration too. And trust. There’s got to be lots, and lots, and lots of trust in any relationship.
A good way not to start is by gaslighting a partner into believing that you get to fuck other people because you’re a “master.” Or, say, “a bratty Little.” Or, hell, because you’re a sex worker!
They can say “this is me / this is who I am / this is what I want / it’s my job.” And you can make a decision about whether you want to be in a relationship with that condition.
But you can’t say “well, they’re an XYZ so I have to go along with it.”
Not even if by consensus you have to sleep on the floor next to his bed!
