Hi. I respect you so much and I really need your help with a question. So I’ve been talking to this guy for several weeks and he’s a Daddy. His kink is insestual and he wanted to know an EXACT age for my little space. Is this normal? Not gunna lie it threw me off guard.

I try think of kink like any other kind of relationship. So the first thing I do when someone says a prospective kink partner seems iffy is ask how they’d feel if they were asked something similarly specific but vanilla. Like, I don’t know, if they seemed unusually interested in your exact ethnic background or kept asking about your average bank balance.

There could be perfectly legitimate reasons to be curious. Like whether he should be prepared to read you picture books, nursery stories, or something older like Harry Potter. Or it could be he’s had a previous D/Lg relationship and really enjoyed playing with a Little who regressed to a particular age.

But… his questions, and maybe his kinks, aren’t making you very comfortable. And no matter why, or how “fair,” it’s a good idea to follow your gut.

I get there aren’t a million fish in the sea when it comes to finding kinky partners. So it might feel a little harder just saying nope, not for me.

If so then maybe have a time-out conversation with him. Say you want to accommodate his kinks as you hope he’ll accommodate yours. And say “that question makes me a little uncomfortable. I need to know more about why that’s important to you.” And be prepared to continue or break off depending on what he says.

Hope that helps.