hiiii sorry this will probably be a dumb question but i’m super shy (like will pass out in front of a crowd shy) but i’m also really needy and my husband loves it but i feel like they don’t go together? sorry english isn’t my first language
Hi! It’s not a dumb question. Forgive my English (as a first language) for not understanding part of it though. Feel free to send me a private/direct message if you’d like to clarify.
Since you’re shy and might be self-conscious about messaging me directly I’m going to try to repeat your question though, and then answer it as best I can. Would that be ok?
It sounds like you’re saying you’re really needy, and that your husband loves it, but you’re also so shy you could pass out in front of a crowd. Ordinarily those two things might seem fine but you’re concerned they don’t go together.
1) This is only a guess, remember, but could you be saying that even though you’re really shy your husband likes to tease you till you beg him to do things for you? Perhaps in a way that goes against your sense of being a “good girl?” If so then that’s a pretty common thing for dominant and sadistic partners to do. What’s important is whether you like it too.
If you do like it or don’t mind it then great – good girls, and shy girls, can be *very* needy when they’re aroused without it saying anything about what kind of person they are when they’re not aroused. We’re often very different people when we are and aren’t aroused and there’s nothing wrong with that.
If you don’t like it then it’s ok to tell your husband that while you love him and want to have sex with him you don’t consent to him teasing you that way. (Do you think you could do that?)
2) Another guess could be that even though you’re really shy could it be that when you’re aroused you get really vocal and take actions that seem unlike your regular not-aroused self?
If that’s true, and if your husband enjoys that you’re that way too, then as I said above there’s nothing wrong with that at ail. Once again, who we are when we’re aroused can be very different from who we are in day-to-day life. You’re just as good a person, a wife, a family member, a member of society no matter how “naughty” you are during sex.
I still feel like I may have misinterpreted you. And depending on your English skills I hope my sentences haven’t been too complicated. So I’ll repeat my invitation to message me to clarify.
Finally, since you’re shy I want you to know that I believe private messages are private – I won’t ever willingly share something anyone says in a private message. So I won’t tease you, reveal you, or reveal anything you say without your permission. If you’re still not comfortable it’s ok to leave another Ask like this one, even though it’ll be harder to have a back-and-forth conversation.
Again, not a dumb question at all. And unless I’m really mistaken you’re talking about a feeling that lots of people have. And worry about even though they don’t need to.
Thanks again for asking!
