Hmm. One suspects there’s a generational gap in there somewhere. But I love the point! Let someone know they’re wanted.
I know a lot of folks say things like “you can come if you want to” when they really want you to, not because they don’t really give a shit. But either through politeness, timidity, or not wanting to sound selfish/bossy/whatever they’ll frame it gently.
Communications coaches spend a lot of time trying to get people to prune their egos by removing “I” and “me” statements from communications. Since this is really fucking hard for most people (most native English speakers? I dunno) the results can often sound namby-pamby or, worse, passive-aggressive.
Me? I’ll probably never say “I want you to come.” Even though I’m pretty terrible about erasing those “I’s” and “me’s” from my sentences. But you know what?
I’m usually going to split the difference and say “Sweetheart, if you’d like to come over I’d love to see you, any time!” That gives you the choice but also lets you know exactly how I feel about it. And you!
