Honestly that last anon sounds just like my girlfriend, nomatter how hard I try I can’t get her off so I honestly gave up after like our first month of dating so now I just kiss and squeeze her legs and general body until she’s ready and I fuck her and that’s it. It’s really boring to me because it’s no fun if she’s not really getting off and enjoying it.

bluewildcat71:

Faking an orgasm is no fun for women either, and women have done it for centuries just so that their man would think he was masterful. Would you rather she fake it to make you feel better? 

I know that sounded bitchy but it is what it is… anyway…

I have to ask, have you sat down and talked to her about what is going on? I’m thinking not just from what I’m reading in your note. She can’t be happy either with what is happening between your two during sex either. Ask her questions, it could be something simple like stress to something very serious like something in her past that is keeping her from having an orgasm. Hell, it could be simply she’s to shy to tell you what really gets her going and gets her off. 

If you have feelings for this girl and want her to enjoy sex with you and make it good for you both, then be serious and caring with her and talk about this.

Ok.  So.  True fact.  Some people can’t come. More women than you’d think.  More men than you’d think!  And not just “can’t come with a partner.”  Some can’t come at all!

Quick question though: does that mean they don’t enjoy sex?

Did I say quick question?  I meant trick question!  Very often they do!  (About as often incidentally, as there are people who can come from sex but don’t enjoy it.)

Point being that while we use orgasms and orgasmic ability as gamer achievement points or measures of self or partner worth, there are as many or more non-orgasmic ways to enjoy the hell out of sex as there are ways to have orgasms.

Unless…

Unless you…

  1. Make your partner feel bad because she doesn’t come “for you.”
  2. Feel bad because you can’t make your partner come
  3. Decide your partner will never come and decide sex with him or her is boring
  4. Decide (for your partner!) that they’re not “fulfilled” unless they come.  With you.
  5. Not give a shit whether they come or not
  6. Be totally fucking oblivious to the very possibility that they might be able to have orgasms.

Clue #1: check in with your partner.  Ask them how they feel about sex.

Clue #2: if you’re bored with a non-orgasmic partner who’s into sex with you you might be boring!

Grrrrrrr!