How to deal with a partner having a waaaay lower sex drive than you??



This is a tough one. Followers?

Rule out other factors first: hormone levels, depression, sleep disorders, and medications (including supplements). All of these are known libido suppressants.

Then figure out together if your partner is willing and comfortable with being emotionally and physically present for you while you masturbate if orgasm needs is what you define as mismatched libido.

If it turns out that there’s no shared middle ground to be had together, discuss what they are willing to accept of outside – then you have a decision to make.

But, I have a question you should ask yourself first….

Are you really talking about drive, as in frequency, or is it intensity of desire, type of sex, etc., aka they don’t want the same type of sex and experience it the way you want them to?

Make sure you know exactly what you mean by it, exactly what you think you are missing, and then define your terms when you have this conversation with your partner.

Good Luck ????

BIG hats off to @submissive-seeking for those last three paragraphs!!! “Libido imbalance” is a perilous notion.

Case in point. If A wants ten minutes of sex seven days a week and B wants an hour and a half of sex once a week who’s got the “lower” libido?

Answer: there is no right answer, is there? A and B can both make a clear claim their partner has a “waaay lower sex drive.”

“Incompatible” yes. “Lower” or “higher?” Nope.

As for actual differences, it’s worth pointing out that Murphy, of Murphy’s Law fame actually wrote a whole set of equally failure-is-inevitable laws. One of them, maybe my favorite, is “never go to bed with someone who’s crazier than you are.” Because if everyone followed it no one would ever say yes.

Pick any two people and one will almost always want sex again before the other’s sexually “hungry” again. Over time this can really add up.

But before you get there you gotta address @submissive-seeking‘s point. Is one’s partner’s drive really higher/lower or is it just different?