I find it really hard to understand or accept the ‘daddy’ name in some d/s relationships, I find it super disturbing. I have a daddy and he’s my father and I’ll never ever ever call my partner that name. I also don’t understand the girls dressing up like little girls for their partner ever, if that’s his kink surely he’s a bit of a pedo? :S

instructor144:

I’m not a Daddy Dom, so I’m not going to respond to this. I’ll leave that to my Followers who are on the Cg/l part of the D/s spectrum.

Pedophilia is sexual attraction to pre-pubescent minor children.  Ephebophilia is sexual attraction to post-pubescent minor childrenLolita, Romeo and Juliet, and, for instance, Disney’s The Little Mermaid are awesome examples of why sex with minor children is really fucked up.

D/Lg and age play inside D/S, however, are adult behaviors.  Kinks.  Fetishes!  And here’s a really important thing about fetishes: they’re often inexplicable to others.  What’s so sexy about latex clothes?  What kind of anti-feminist moron wants to wear a corset?  How is Japanese rope bondage any different from your grandma’s macrame projects?  Surely only child abusers and/or those who were abused as children would be into spanking, right?  

And on the vanilla side throwing rose petals all over a bed is wasteful, the “missionary” position is literally(!!!) a form of colonialist oppression, and Ravel himself said Bolero was seventeen minutes of “orchestral tissue without music” and had “no form, properly speaking, no development, no or almost no modulation!”  So eww to all that too, right?

Oh, and only “latent” homosexuals like hetero ass play, right?

But to fetishists, including people who practice vanilla discipline, all those things are the bee’s knees.

And, incidentally, women who wear corsets don’t really wish they were pre-women’s-suffrage Victorians.  And shibari practitioners don’t really believe war prisoners should be ritually bound in painful positions before they’re executed.  Very few spanking enthusiasts would ever spank a child.  And latex… I… ok, I actually don’t get the whole latex thing but I don’t think someone who does is a bit of a sicko.  

Same with D/Lg and age play inside D/S!  

Personally I’m not turned on by women who wear babydoll dresses and saddle shoes, nor particularly turned on by pacifiers and baby bottles.  (Diapers actually can be fun as part of humiliation play but please take them off if you actually need to go to the bathroom.  Plus since it’s about humiliation for me,  diapers they’re not even particularly D/Lg for me.)  I’m really not turned on by those goddamn “Catholic School Girl” outfits in age play.  They’re appropriate sexualized uniforms for cocktail-waitresses, maybe!  But I think it’s hideously inappropriate to make actual school children wear them!.

But I’m still 100% a D/Lg Daddy.  I like relating to adult, equal partners in the forms and conventions familiar from parenting.  When I’m being dominant I like heightening the power exchange with words like “little girl.”  I get seriously turned on when an adult partner goes into “Little space” and sucks my thumb.

It would seriously creep me out if I wanted to do any of those things to my real children.  Even now that they’re adults!  Because D/Lg and age play in D/S is something I want to do with relationship partners!  And Disney movie tropes notwithstanding adults just can’t be relationship partners with minor children without damage to the child, and possibly without damage to the adult as well!  (Assuming they’re not already damaged!)

TL;DR: just because you don’t share a fetish doesn’t make the fetish sick or wrong.  What some competent, consenting adults do together may make us uncomfortable but that doesn’t make them sick or wrong either.  Being turned as adults by behaving with or behavior by other adults may seem odd to us but it’s not sick or wrong.  That includes romance novel ravishment costume and behavior play, Victorian costume and behavior play, or D/Lg age costume and behavior play  Doing anything sexual, kinky or vanilla, with actual minors on the other hand really is sick and wrong.