I have a new diagnosis of borderline personality and since I got it my husband/Dom treats me like I’m crazy all the time. He doesnt listen to me and won’t take me seriously. He says everything is my fault. And how can I not believe that when there is so much proof? What do I do? I am in therapy but i still self harm and He just gets mad at me for it. He doesnt help me, or comfort me or anything, only yells and makes me want to cut more. Please please help.


hi anon,

i’ve seen your question answered this morning by a few other bloggers, but since you also sent it to me i didn’t want to leave it unaddressed, even if what i say is relatively concise.

i’m sorry for your struggles and the difficulties you and your husband are experiencing after your diagnosis. it is commendable, however, that you are in therapy and i hope that the work you’re doing and will do there will help better your mental health and improve your life.

it sounds like your husband may also benefit from something therapeutic geared toward the partners of people with borderline diagnoses (or mental health issues in general), both in understanding it and managing the challenges that may present themselves in your relationship. perhaps you or he, or your therapist, can suggest some resources in that area.

i’m going to end my response here, anon, only because i truly believe it wouldn’t be responsible of me to suggest anything to you further, as i am not a mental health professional. but i do wish you and your husband the best of luck going forward, and send you all positive vibes for your recovery and the management of your health. :)



At a certain point you have to do a relationship safeword, stop being Doms or Subs and start being husband and wife, or partner to partner, or human being to human being.

You’ve got to do it because he’s stopped being a Dom and started being a dick.

Same as if you broke a leg. Same as if you got diabetes. Same as if you had allergies. Mental illness isn’t special, or funny, or diminishing.

If one’s partner doesn’t get this it’s time for a talk.