I have to ask. I’m a sub with a dom and I’m quite possessive, I can’t stand the idea of sharing him with other sub. The same way my dom can’t stand the idea of sharing me with another dom. Is that wrong, Sir? :(


Not at all. If monogamy was agreed to as one of the parameters of the relationship, you have every right to expect it.

Wait!  What?  Where does anyone get the idea that Doms automatically get to have multiple partners?

They certainly can, and some do – same as Subs or anyone else can and sometimes do.

But that it’s a given?

Where on this big blue marble to people get these ideas?

Kink relationships are still relationships.  No matter what your roles inside your relationship it’s still something that happens between equal and autonomous adults.  With the same agreements, boundaries, hassles, and joys as any other kind.  Being a Dom or Daddy, or a Sub, Little, or Slave, isn’t a get-out-of-monogamy-free card, any more than being any other kind of partner is.

Polyamory is awesome.  Just plain promiscuity is too.  So’s monogamy though, and that’s a hell of a lot more common and generally a hell of a lot less complicated.

Shorter answer: If you go into a relationship with an agreement that it will be open then great.  And if your expectation is that you’ll be monogamous instead then make that clear as well – preferably before you get too invested.  And if you go in feeling yeah, poly’s great and then one of you changes your mind?  Time to call break out of your D/S roles and have a serious conversation, same as you would for any other serious renegotiation.