I read your reply to most a submissive ne a masochist and my question is whether a submissive can span the spectrum of “submissiveness”? I identify as a submissive. Yet within that, I also identify as a little, a masochist, a sensual woman, and so much more. Am I wrong? Do I need to focus on one area to be a better submissive?


Absolutely possible. I know a Little who is also a Slave. I know a pain-slut who savors the bite of the quirt who also likes Hello Kitty. A know a died in the wool humiliation-slut who also likes to be made to take naps. Fuck labels, and fuck categorization – be you.

Oh hell yes!  Kink’s a cafeteria, not dinner in a box.  There is no “if you’re into this you also have to be into that.”  

I’d like to push back a little on the implied assumption that all kinds of bottoms are variations on submission, though.  Consider a masochist who’s major turn on is roleplaying being the spy their captor can’t break.  Masochistic as hell. Yep.  Rope bottom?  Sure!  But a Sub?  They don’t want to submit, they want to win!  

But I digress…

There’s never any harm in finding that one element you’re really into and focusing on it.  But!  Take your time.  As I say repeatedly, I spent years being a pretty terrible Dom before I figured out what I am.  Learn from my mistakes and try all the dishes first.