I think maybe I keep trying to project vanilla relationships onto D/s because that’s all I know… but I am confusion. Are you friends with your sub? Do you love her? Sometimes? Not always? How much cute coupley shit do you with her? Have you been in love with someone who was a big no no about subbing? What happens to the dynamic in LTRs?

instructor144:

As I’ve often said, a D/s relationship is first and foremost a relationship. And as such, at its best it has all those lovely aspects that you associate with vanilla relationships. 

Goodness yes!  The dynamics at a weekend play party can be as no-strings as racquetball matches at a gym, and nothing wrong with that.

But @instructor144 ‘s dead right that BDSM relationships are relationships! If you can’t be friends and lovers with your partner in kind then…??? Better question: why on earth wouldn’t you be friends or lovers with your partner in kink?!?!?!