I’m the anon who lied and met another Dominant. I’m completely broken by the responses… I just want to say that my Master is a married man who’s doing this behind his wife’s back. I’m so lost, I don’t know what to do…

asubmissiveview:

instructor144:

This just gets messier and messier.

Anon – the vast majority of us have screwed up and gotten in messes that we shouldn’t and many of those messes are much worse than yours. I shared on your previous
post that I thought the stone-throwing needed to stop. This is a mess, true, but it’s also a life lesson. I’m sure your mind doesn’t know where to go at this point and sometimes just talking through it helps – feel free to message me privately. I have no stones to throw.

My piling-on button doesn’t seem to be working this morning, and the anon got dumped on more than enough yesterday.

So here are a couple of thoughts following @asubmissiveview’s kinder lead:

  • Online relationships are pretty complicated because we mostly get to know people’s private impressions of themselves. These rarely resemble anyone else’s impressions of them. (For example the irl powerful people who turn out to be Submissive.)
  • If you discover someone you’ve been involved with is married and running behind their partner’s back it’s pretty gutting in the first place. On the one hand you’re going to be angry, upset, and betrayed. On the other hand you’re probably going to be deeply in love with them by that point.
  • People who can turn on a dime and fall out of love over an offense may not be very good at being in love in the first place. Closing the iron door might be the smart thing to do, but it’s fucking hard.
  • The anon’s guy has a lot of damn gall calling them out for meeting someone else.
  • The anon might wish to continue seeing the new Dom. After confirming their relationship status. And coming clean about their own situation.

Everyone fucks up. It’s barely past breakfast and I’m sure I’ve already fucked something up more than once.

The trick isn’t how you fuck up. It’s how you take responsibility, acknowledge the impact you’ve had to the people affected, and clean up your damage. I’ll add that “responsibility” includes not just “learning your lesson and taking your lumps.” It’s taking steps to avoid doing it again.