Appreciate your girl’s lingerie before taking it off.

Or just leave it on for a good long while.


I’m not saying “this” because I always do it.

I’m saying it because I’m suddenly conscious that I almost never do!

And suddenly want to apologize to every partner I’ve impatiently peeled out of everything they’ve taken the time to shop for, to put on, to fantasize about, to fantasize in!  Who’ve put thought and care into their choices.  Who’ve wondered whether I’d enjoy them in this or that and felt excited by the thought that they’ve made the perfect choice.

And I want to say thank you.  And to acknowledge the impact it’s had that I negligently and almost impatiently shuck you out of everything you put on.

You’re beautiful already, and no amount of lingerie, or makeup, or sweat, or baggy cardigans and sweat pants can change that.  Not how I feel about you!


What do we know about the greater fashion world?  What do we say when a man says “ew, that doesn’t look attractive at all?”  We learn “yeah, we don’t dress for you, we dress for ourselves!”  Which, in fact, is true!

Just because I might think you look just as beautiful and sexy no matter what you wear, taking time, expense, effort, and intention to dress to kill might make you feel awesome.

And after all these years that notion’s finally percolated through my tiny walnut-sized male-dinosaur brain: you don’t need to do it for me, you want to do it for you!

And so I apologize.  From the bottom of my heart I apologize.  And acknowledge how often I’ve disappointed lovers with my me-centric view of our relationships.

And I will always take time to appreciate your lingerie.  Before taking it off.  And to appreciate your hair style.  Before messing it up.  And appreciate your makeup… before absolutely wrecking it.