Is it unusual to be in a polyamorous relationship, but not know anything about each others partners? We both understand that there are other partners, but we never talk about them with each other.

theruleset:

No, that’s totally a thing. I dont want people to think that “constant group sex with metamours and we are all besties ” is the only, or even most common method of nonmonogamy. It isn’t, it’s just what you see here!

I wouldn’t doubt most people in nonmonogamy keep a respectful “I dont need to know all about that” kinda thing.

Yeah.  Most people in poly aren’t “and we’re always in the same bed all the time” relationships.  While it does happen, obviously, most of the poly people I know in real life who don’t.

That said, most of the poly people I know are at least cordially interested in their partner’s partners.  Cordial enough to socialize casually and often close enough to attend each other’s holiday events and meals.  And, since real poly relationships are real relationships that can last lifetimes, cordial enough to attend each other’s graduations, retirement parties, and funerals.