Is there a difference between being dominant and being controlling?

instructor144:

Absolutely. There are a lot of domineering, narcissistic, abusive assholes out there who are not Doms. 

Yeah, I just answered this once but let’s give it a go from the other side.

One way to tell the difference?  How do you feel after you’ve been together?  After you’ve Submitted?  After they’ve Dominated you?

Excited, happy, pleased, sore maybe but not hurt, thinking “when can we do that again?”

or

Glad that’s over, wondering if there’s something wrong with you, wondering what the fuck was that, afraid, unhappy, disappointed, hurt and not just sore, thinking “it’s ok, I can handle it?”

Do feel like you chose them or did they choose you?

If you’re not over the moon then the most positive thing I can say is “you’re not with the right person.”  There are… worse things to say.