I’ve decided my dom isn’t meeting my needs, meta talks have worked briefly but there have been no long term changes. I want to break it off, but I have done so before and it either results in myself running back to him or him talking me out of it altogether. I don’t want to ghost him, but it feels like the only way out. What should I do?



Tell Him first. Then tell everyone you have chosen to be released and wish Him well. Make it public. DO NOT BE NEGATIVE OR PETTY. Show Him and the world the face of grace. Now ask those you care about to help hold you accountable, like a diet. Invite them to feel free to chime in when they notice you backsliding or putting yourself in a “slippery” situation. And you ALWAYS refer to yourself as unowned and free, especially in your own thoughts.

Now when shit gets hard, and it will, have a list of 10 things you will do to soothe yourself. No more going back for a quick fix.

Your heart and mind are catching up to what your gut’s been screaming for awhile now.

Good Luck ????



Tell him briefly “I’m ending it.” And then block him in every possible way he has to get at you. Then get on with your life. 

“DO NOT BE NEGATIVE OR PETTY. Show Him and the world the face of grace.“
– @submissive-seeking

Best piece of advice I ever heard about life after a breakup like this is “honor the person you met, not the person you left.”  “We weren’t a good fit” is more often true than “they’re a lame-assed loser.”

Finding love is hard.  Finding someone compatible with your kink is hard.  Finding someone you can love who’s compatible with your kink is even harder.  Worst of all, finding someone who’s kink evolves along with yours is really fucking hard!

“Not compatible person” ≠ “bad person.”

“Disappointment” ≠ “wronged.”

Don’t just break it off because someone else can make you very happy.  Break it off because they can make someone else very happy.  Even though it’s not you.