i’ve recently met someone that could possibly become my daddy. we’re taking it slow, and just getting to know each other before either of us commit (we did meet on reddit, though, so we both know that we’re interested). the first couple of days we talked back and forth throughout the entire day. for the last week or so, however, if we talk at all, it’s because i’ve initiated the conversation. he said that he was sorry and has been busy with college, but would this be considered a red flag?

mistersbeard:

It could be any number of factors really… maybe you caught him on spring break and now hes back to his normal routine. Maybe he has a part time job he didnt mention… maybe he likes to game and gets swallowed by it now and then. Who knows… just try to talk to him about it and find out whats up.


Its the same with me really... sometimes I can be talking in pm to someone constantly and then I fall off the earth. My business is unpredictable and I work all hours of the day according to how I feel like shaping my schedule. So sometimes I can be readily available.. and then a few days later people give up thinking I just dont want to talk to them, but it has more to do with being consumed by my work and the constant influx of pm’s from new people..

My work is a major part of my life and I rarely do much of anything else, so I can tend to be highly distracted by it. 

The real key to communication is simply nudging me instead of assuming I am ignoring you. 

This!

And speaking as a former stay-at-home/work-at-home father it’s really, really hard to know you’re got someone waiting for you – someone you’d actually rather spend time with, someone who wants you as much as you want them – and you’ve got to do “grown up” stuff.  And even though they understand that you have to be busy they don’t understand!

It’s got to be done.  But it’s tough.

Makes it a lot easier to be there when you can though.  Not to “make it up to them,” because reality has no patience with the impossible.  Call it something more like giving what you’ve stored up an ability to give to match what they’ve stored up in what they need.