Just gonna say: There is literally no romance in Thor: Ragnarok. No romance subplots, no kissing. The closest thing to it is when Hulk sees part of a video of Black Widow and it turns him back into Bruce Banner. Besides that? Nothing. It was awesome.

False there is a clearly defined 3 seconds where its implied that Loki went down on Jeff Goldblum.

This is the only argument to this post that I will accept

However, Loki had “such dealings” with Svaðilfari that “somewhat later” Loki gave birth to a grey foal with eight legs; the horse Sleipnir, “the best horse among gods and men.”
Wikipedia on the origin of Sleipnir

Most folks have no idea just how far Loki was willing to go to a) pull off a prank but also b) get out of being killed cold dead when busted for his often seriously evil pranks.

This includes boning a horse to keep the gods from killing him after he talks them into making a sucker bet.  And then giving birth because Norse gods knew shit about birth control and I don’t think they were quite as slut-shame-y and/or transphobic in Asgard.