Because there are Black women with Masters making 120K a year who still feel like failures because they don’t have a husband to go home to. Stop teaching Black women that their worth is determined by their left ring finger. That marriage quota in the Black community is toxic and needs to stop.

JFC in a rental scooter! Stop teaching anybody that anyone’s worth is determined by when or whether or how long they’re married!

Don’t want this to be a “all lives matter” whitewashing of @kimreesesdaughter’s point. Each community and even each family in communities has its own history with marriage and the marriage game has been rigged against the Black community since the 1400’s.

And it’s still rigged, from the outside, yeah, and also from within in every community.

All due respect to the remarkable victory for same-sex marriage against the astonishing resistance of the dour asshole gatekeepers and defenders of the most patriarchal custom on earth.

But the fact that gay men and women may now be judged as harshly as their cis/het peers for failing to find a marriage partner is not progress.

And that Black women can be amazing and accomplished and somehow still be judged for not marrying? Also not progress.


While I think marriage as an institution is and has always been a tool of Patriarchy — literally, in the sense that Patriarchy’s foundation involved elders determining who their daughters and sons would marry for their own political and economic advantage — I’m not saying individual marriages are regressive or bad and should be avoided. I’m saying that it should be looked at like getting a masters degree, or earning $120,000/year: cool if you do, but hardly a failure if you don’t.