Maintenance Discipline


A PM from a Follower, abstracted in the interests of privacy …

“Question. Do you think there are times when I could actually request being beaten till I cry?
In a sort of “mental health” kind of way?
Am I making sense?“

You’re making perfect sense. In some dynamics, the girl has to “act out” or “act up” to get a beating. It winds up being framed as “punishment.” with all the negativity that entails. Ain’t nobody got time for that! I prefer “maintenance discipline.” It offers several advantages:

It is regular and predictable. The Dom sets up a schedule – weekly, perhaps – where his girl will be disciplined, using whatever methods are most effective for her. There is no need for her to act out, because she knows she just has to keep it together until her next maintenance session. And for those really high-stress weeks, she can ask permission for an unscheduled one-off maintenance session.

It is not punishment. Punishment tends to bring a lot of negative emotional baggage with it. When done as “maintenance,” it is understood to be “therapeutic” (”mental health,” as you put it) which carries much more positive emotions and thoughts.

No drama. Many D/s dynamics seem to work as follows. Girl acts out. Dom administers punishment. Girl gets the pain she craves. Seems godawful drama-intensive to me! I hate acting out/acting up. If a girl needs pain, she should be able to get it without all that drama and bullshit.

It strengthens the connection. When her Dom gives her “the gift of tears,” and after she kneels with her head in his lap sobbing, the catharsis forges and strengthens that special intimacy that is the hallmark of the best D/s relationships.

I’m just a Daddy, not a Daddy Dom. So I have just about zero patience with punishment or associated drama. I’m a cheerful sadist so I’ll gladly do fiendish things to cheerful masochists who just get off on pain. But that’s even less about punishment and drama!

But for some people, some Subs and some Littles, discipline isn’t about punishment or pleasurable pain. It’s about getting a physical or emotional reset. A way to get out of your head or out of an attitude or mood or pattern.

I don’t go wandering around thinking mmm, I’d sure like to give someone a nice cathartic spanking and then cuddle and maybe cuddlefuck the hell out of them. But years ago it finally percolated through my tiny walnut-sized brain that sometimes that’s just what the doctor ordered. So, being a good Daddy, or at least trying to be, that’s what I’m happy to offer when needed. (And carefully negotiated, because consent > assumptions every time.)