me: spank me, degrade me, bite me, choke me

also me: do not shout at me I am sensitive and will cry

You’re on your way to understanding BDSM when you realize neither statement contradicts the other.  

Me?  I enjoy spanking, degrading, biting, and choking with partners who are into being spanked, degraded, bitten, and choked.  Because that’s sexy for me.

Also me?  Yeah, I’m not into shouting, at all, at all.  Or being shouted at.  Not even with partners who enjoy shouting.  Because there’s nothing sexual at all for me.

Maybe some people are into both.  And great for them if they are.  But BDSM isn’t a thing, it’s a whole alphabet soup of things.