My girlfriend told me that she doesnt want a gift for her birthday as long as we are together. Thought?



Get her something anyway. I know nothing about what kind of person she is, but you can’t go wrong with a stuffed animal.

I agree with @instructor144 that you need to completely ignore what she said and get her something anyway. But do make sure you know your girl would enjoy a stuffed animal before going that route. If a partner gave me that sort of gift, my first thought would be “does he not know me at all?” Maybe it’s as simple as a cake (no cupcakes for this occasion) and balloons. If you have the funds, add a gift certificate to her nail salon, spa, or favorite store. A nice houseplant or orchid if she has a place to put it and enjoys plants. A lovely idea to add to a plant – hunt for a small token of something meaningful to her that is waterproof to set in the pot. I received a plant 20+ years ago from a past love and he put a tiny ceramic bunny in the pot because he knew I loved bunnies. That extra little effort pushed me to tears and I still have that bunny. Check dollar stores or craft stores for miniature stuff to use.

I’m a big fan of the “5 Love Languages.”  Not because they’re true, and certainly not because they’re diagnostic, because they’re neither of those things.  Instead I appreciate it because it helps us understand that we all have different ways of expressing care and receiving expressions of care.

It’s impossible to know how an anonymous partner of an anonymous correspondent best receives expressions of care.  Just understand that it might not be the same way you like to receive those expressions, and, worse, might not be the way you enjoy expressing it!

Refresher: the five canonical categories are giving or receiving gifts, yes, but also words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch.  The categories are difficult because, for instance, an act of service might include scouring every shop in town for the perfect gift, and an act of service might include a long massage.  Point being there’s lots of overlap.

Try a token gift when someone says they want nothing.  Perhaps something like bath salts and perhaps with a note inviting them to spend time in the bath together with you.  And what about giving it to her on her birthday without emphasizing that that’s what it’s all about?