Not always interested in sex – always interested in you

You know that moment after sex where you or he or both are awkwardly looking at each other and wonder how the hell you can gracefully make your exit?

Yeah, let’s not do that.

Vanilla culture (and large parts of kink culture, which isn’t all that “alt”) tends to measure the success of a relationship not so much for quality as by duration.  It’s either for life or it’s a mistake.

This is… unfortunate.

A one-night stand by the duration metric is an unqualified disaster.  It increases one or both of your “number” without getting you any closer to the ultimate goal of that one special person you’ll want lying on the tube feeder and respirator next to yours in a retirement home.  Tragic!

In reality, though, fetishizing “for life” in relationships forces us to overlook genuine, loveable and not just “fuckable” qualities of our shorter-term partners.

Even if you really aren’t going to be together after one crazy / lonely / drunken / horny night together, at least have a cup of coffee together before you part ways.  There’s a non-zero chance that once you’ve both woken up a little you’ll both notice that while a) maybe you won’t have another date there’s a distinct possibility that b) the interest you had in each other the night before wasn’t entirely insanity, loneliness, drunkenness, or horniness.  (Clue: it’s usually not.)

As always, no matter how long or short the relationship have a good relationship.  

Alway, no matter how long or short the relationship, honor the person you met, not the person you parted ways with.