On gradients

So I was shopping this evening at a local grocery store that has a pretty diverse clientele. Lots of couples from many countries and quite a few hipster subcultures.

Every man with a woman for a partner woman was at least a little taller than she, and every woman with a man for a partner was at least a little shorter than he.

I mention this because there were a couple of really short men there. Below average height for women.

I don’t know who chooses partners based on height. I think women are more likely to strongly prefer taller partners. But that’s based only on a few conversations with (mostly taller) women who’ve said things like he’s perfect but he’s too short.

I don’t know what drives it. But I’ve noticed that sorting pattern before. And tonight there was a five foot man with a partner who was still two inches shorter. (They were being incredibly sweet with each other!)

Now you might think this post is about sexual dimorphism or maybe gendered preferences.

It’s not.

No idea where you’d get that idea!


Instead it’s about Dominance and Submission.

We tend to privilege “alpha Subs.” Porn and memes and porn memes often rattle on about how “it takes a strong man to… basically put her in her place.” Or the one from a while back that said something like “I’ve already got a pussy, why would I want another?”

But really, as usual, that’s porn and memes and porn memes for you.

Most Subs aren’t “alpha Subs.” They’re just Subs.

Like all human beings, Subs and Doms come in all sizes. All shapes. All weights and sizes. All sexes and orientations. And…

And all strengths.

So maybe most Subs don’t need a Dom who’s more Dominant than anybody. Maybe they just need one who’s more Dominant than them.

Even if they’re not more Dominant than anybody else.

Bet there were quite a few of those in the grocery store too.

Support everybody’s kinks, even the not very kinky ones. Every Jill has their Jack. And every Jack their Jill.

Big hats off to all who find each other.