i want to addres a certain unhealthy mindset i’ve seen come up in the the BDSM community.

There seems to sometimes be an issue of people not recognizing what is reality and what is play. BDSM *always* is play. it is a *fantasy*. the power dynamics are *not* real. lemme explain.

in a Dom/sub relationship, subs are often considered property, toys, etc. but no matter how ingrained that dynamic is in your relationship, that is never your sole identity. your Dom does not literally own you. you *always* have the right to be an independent person. you are *always* their equal. this applies no matter how much power you choose to give them over you. you can always take it away when needed. you are not a bad sub if that’s what you need to do to preserve your mental, emotional or physical health. you are an individual first and a sub second.

Since I take this really, really seriously I guess I could try to sound all butch and dead-white-male authoritative, solemn, and serious about this but really, OMG, @princesssofcolor nailed this so perfectly it’s just wonderful!

BDSM *always* is play.
– @princesssofcolor