So I finally turned 18 last month after 7 years of sitting on the outlines and reading about BDSM instead of trying to join the community because I knew that even though I had the knowledge and want for said experiences I was WAY too young and would put people at risk including myself by involving myself AT ALL in the community but now that I’m 18 I’m too nervous to actually put myself out there, I’m scared people will still say I’m too young even though I’m an adult. What do I do? 1/2


For now, read, learn, ask questions, read and follow respected blogs. Eventually you can think about maybe attending munches, they’re safe PG-13 get togethers. Some of the more experienced subs will most likely take you under their wing and get you settled.

To turn the old aphorism around, when it comes to learning about sex and submission, learn to walk before you learn to crawl.

Seriously!  Think about your first day of driver’s ed.  Were you ready to parallel park on a hill on a busy street?

Now think about the first day you got your license.  Were you… ready to parallel park on a hill on a busy street?

Same with sex.  Same with kink.

Want to do dark and dirty BDSM?  Wonderful!

Start with kissing.

Start with forming relationships.

Ideally, find someone you respect who respects you, someone who’s no more experienced than you are, someone who’ll listen as well as suggest, someone you can learn together with and not just from!

Think about the rules at the swimming pool: no going in the deep end till you can swim all the way across the shallow end; no diving off the high-dive till you can dive off the low board.

This is not to say don’t do BDSM!  Heh.  It does mean learn the basics first.  I promise you’ll be way better, enjoy yourself way more and for waaayyyy longer.

These are things a very good mentor, a very good top, a very experienced but conscientious Dom or Daddy would have you do for them.  (Hint: if they don’t agree they might not be a good partner choice.)

This isn’t about age, by the way, it’s about learning.  It would be as true for someone who’s 68 as someone who’s 18.