I like a big one every once and a while too. But I’ve had plenty of amazing sex with the average sized male. I mean honestly I’m more about girth. There’s only so much of that length you’re gonna be able to use when your gurl is 5 feet tall.
This makes me very happy! Guys get so frickin’ anxious about dick size and maybe nine out of ten women honestly don’t care!
It’s not that “all dicks are awesome” or, conversely, “all dicks are gross.” It’s that what seems to matter is that they’re dicks, not that they’re giant dicks.
Now I should be clear when I say “dick size doesn’t matter.” It does! To other men!!! Don’t know why other men’s dick sizes matter so much to men, especially straight men. But they do!
Another funny thing about dick size! In Bonk, Mary Roach’s book about the anthropology of sex, she interviewed a surgeon who performed penis enlargements. The funny thing, he said, is that most of his customers are already larger than average, and sometimes much larger. In other words being large doesn’t seem to relieve our anxiety about dick size.
it’s sort of the same way so many women seem to think men care only about breast size when really it seems more like women care about other women’s breast sizes. Men, meanwhile, don’t seem to care as much.
Also, yeah, yeah, there are “size queen” women and “heavy hanger” men or whatever. But no one should mistake fetishes for mainstream preferences. The stereotypes about body-part size preferences are just that – stereotypes. And you know how useless stereotypes are.
Nope. Real men never use the phrase “real men.” It’s like how smart people don’t have to say they’re smart.
AHAHAHAH!!!! “Real” men! AHAHAHAH!!!!
Yeah, “real man” = “slavishly cut away all the parts other ‘real men’ cut away.”
My favorite story about masculinity, from an old pre-toxic-masculinity (and also pre-animal-rights) men’s author.
So a Spanish matador had had a spectacular victory in the bull ring. Afterwards all his friends and fellow matadors joined him at his place for a night of drinking and dining.
After the dinner the great matador put on an apron and started washing dishes. “Oh Matador, his friend said, do you think washing dishes is masculine?”
The great matador threw up his hands and roared “EVERYTHING I do is masculine!”
And you want to know something? Goddamn right!
If you’re a man, however you choose to define “man,” then by definition everything you do is “masculine.”
The whole “real man” business is strictly about anxiety, conformity, timidity, insecurity.
Whether you wrestle women and fuck bears or skip to work carrying a purse, if you’re a man you’re a real man, period, full stop.
Me? I know where your clitoris is. I care if you’re a PhD or CEO because good for you! Fun, flirtatious, fit, and friendly? Great! Everybody should be those things, not just women. And… wait a second… “chaste?” What does that have to do with anything?!?!? Because, yeah, “real men” don’t want you to want to have sex with us either, I guess… which I suppose makes them either gay men, asexual men, or incels – all of which are, you know, still men.
Fucking gender is such an idiotic social construct!
WTF with people thinking random gay people need to try switching orientations just to “make sure?” When, yeah, most of the folks who say it wouldn’t want to try it.
Look. There are almost always plenty of people who’d want to have sex with you if you’d just give them a chance. If you don’t think so you’re probably just not paying attention.
So why go out of your way for someone who clearly doesn’t want to?
As he shoved himself inside me. I nodded, tears rolling down my face. He replied “good, it’s supposed to” as he kept using my little hole…
Just a little check in for the boys in the back: it’s only supposed to hurt if she’s into it. The rest of the time? If it hurts you’re doing it wrong.
Even in kink, when you put it inside your sweetie if it hurts you’re probably doing it wrong.
You know that meme about how the clitoris is the only organ “designed” to receive pleasure? Here’s a little bonus anatomy lesson: the dock is the only organ designed exclusively to caress.
Think about that next time someone says it’s supposed to hurt. If it hurts you’re not using it the way you’re meant to use it.
This! If she wants a dick pic she’ll take it herself!
This is the biggest misconception about women and dicks. Most women like their partners’ dicks just fine. Love them. Daydream about them. Want to put them in their mouths or pussies. Maybe even want to have and keep pictures of them too!
But “my partner’s dick” probably isn’t the same thing as “your dick,” is it? Hmm… roughly 2,000,000,000 straight, adult women in the world… only one you… even if you’re poly as hell you’re unlikely to have more than 500 partners so… ok, at best there’s still at best a 1/40,000,000 chance a random woman is going to be happy to see your dick.
Even though she likely adores her partner’s dick.
“Doesn’t want to see your dick pic” ≠ “doesn’t like dicks.”
Sometimes I don’t think men realize how important intimacy is before sex. Yeah like I know we are gonna fuck. But sometimes I wanna lay with you and make out and just have you touch me all over and slip a hand between my legs for a while so that after its all over I can think of the way your hands scorched across my skin. I wont ever forget.
Wait. Seriously? Pretty sure even when I was a callow, pimply-faced youth I still had sense (and sensuality… and self-respect!!!) enough to want to take my time, enjoy goddamn *sex* and not just a quick little jackrabbitery before doing… what? What else could you possibly want to do if you’ve got a warm, wonderful, naked woman next to you?
Honestly. Guys worry so much about “premature ejaculation,” and maybe they’re ashamed of themselves? Maybe they think “two-pump chimp” is a *complement?*. But fact is that stories about “blue balls” notwithstanding, the benefit of “foreplay,”. (It’s really sex) for men is it takes us longer to come, just like it help our partners take less time to come.
And puhlease don’t tell me that spending an hour kissing and being kissed, touching and being touched, holding someone and being held, licking someone and being licked, doesn’t add up to some *supreme* sexual pleasures of their own, even before you get to intercourse!
There seems to be a common mischaracterization of d/s relationships: that dominance is active, submission is passive, dominance is doing, submission is being done to. And, if your frame of reference were primarily porn or erotic fiction, it would be easy to reach that conclusion. How many feminist objections to d/s are based in this type of thinking? It may also be at the root of common questions like “How do I get my SO to be more dominant?”
This mischaracterization of the d/s dynamic is unfair because it doesn’t give submissive partners enough credit. From where I sit, submission doesn’t look like a passive pursuit. It looks like real work. Submissives choose their role, and they choose to work at it at least as hard as their dominant partners. And then…they make themselves physically and emotionally vulnerable. They trust. Amazing. You aren’t foolish or weak. You deserve to be proud of the relationship that you build everyday.
tl;dr…Thanks for doing what you do. It is noticed and appreciated.
Oh, and pretty picture. Love the dress. Love the curls.
I am a lucky girl.
This is roughly the mindset
@cynicaldom comes from when he corrects me from saying he leads, I follow to he leads, I support.
UGH! This!!!
To clear the air for a moment it’s not surprising that there are (non-kink) feminist objections to the way D/S is represented in popular culture. There’s no doubt that D/S porn and erotica (including Tumblr) has a big problem with gender representation. In the real world there are huge numbers of women who are Doms and men who are (non-”sissy” and non-”forced-feminization!”) Subs.
You’d never know it from porn and erotica but Dominance and Submission are kinks not genders! Until that totally fucked-up notion gets straightened out feminists (and misogynists!) are going to keep having the same fundamental misunderstanding.
But more importantly…
This mischaracterization of the d/s dynamic is unfair because it doesn’t give submissive partners enough credit.
OMG, if you don’t get that you haven’t got a single fucking clue what D/S (or Cg/L, or S&M, or B&D or the other power-exchange kinks) are about at all!
Unlike victims of abuse and violence Submissives actively engage and participate. They initiate! They don’t just cooperate they often actively critique, negotiate, recommend, and reject their partner’s Dominance.
In the real world, Subs cultivate and coach their Doms as often as Doms train and develop their Subs.
The point is that bottoming kinks are their own affirmative kinks pursued by active, autonomous agents. Submission ≠ subordination. Dominance ≠ superiority! And kink relationships are real relationships!
Again, if you don’t understand that fundamental truth then you’re not a Dom you’re a vanilla asshole who likes to push your partners around. If you don’t get that you’re not a Sub you’re codependent, or a doormat, or both. And if you don’t understand that tops and bottoms are partners the way pitchers and batters are partner you’re not going to understand D/S or any of the power-exchange kinks.
Final note: I’m not making a “no true Scotsman” argument here. There are plenty of self-styled “doms” and “subs” who are just loud vanilla players. And too many of us let them get away with it. This is a particular problem for subs because, for better or worse, there aren’t enough good Doms to go around! This creates a structural advantage for wannabes, users, and legit abusers to slip through the cracks. And cause real havoc.
But! Until everybody understands that Doms and Subs are equal, autonomous partners and that D/S is a kink dynamic and not a gender dynamic there will continue to be giant cracks where the assholes will continue to slip through.
“almost every woman i have ever met has a secret belief that she is just on the edge of madness, that there is some deep, crazy part within her, that she must be on guard constantly against ‘losing control’ — of her temper, of her appetite, of her sexuality, of her feelings, of her ambition, of her secret fantasies, of her mind”
— Elana Dykewomon “Notes for a Magazine"
Society’s trick is to raise everyone to believe half of humanity are some kind of cross between devils and angels, enforcers of propriety and objects of lust, to be “respected” or even “worshiped” on the one hand but also denied opportunities, respect, authority, and compensation for being “little ladies.”
Oh, also! You’re accused of being “hormonal” on a monthly basis by… men who wake up every morning with a frickin’ erection!
I promise, promise, promise it’s not you who’s on the edge of madness. Or if you are it’s because society’s set up to systematically and methodically drive you crazy.
