Posts Tagged ‘let’s do this’
I’m not going to say “beware of Black Friday” because people without a lot of money can use big sale days to pay less for things they really need.
But yeah, the things in your life all used to be time. And the best things in life usually aren’t things.
Yeah, Tinder hookups and 6:00 AM “walks of shame” are all well and good (well, except for the shame part!) But till you’ve spent the morning making and drinking coffee together while getting to know each other a little better? That’s paradise!
Doesn’t matter if it’s a random hookup, a casual fling, and old flame, or your life companion of many years, there’s always something new to learn about each other over coffee.
As for that “walk of shame?” Seriously. What’s to be ashamed of? You got drunk and rubbed your pee-pees together? Big deal! That makes you different from roughly 4/5th of the rest of humanity exactly how?
But sharing coffee together this morning? Or just tea or orange juice, or just cuddles this morning? That right there is paradise.
There are a lot of misconceptions about D/Lg. For instance being Little isn’t always about pink polkadots, Skittles, and trips to the zoo. Sometimes it’s just about getting perversely turned on when an older, experienced gentleman whispers “let’s get you out of these wet things, pocketwatch.”
Found the meme on Reddit. I was tempted to say “being a D/Lg Daddy in a nutshell” and yeah, it’s that. But really it’s what all real partners do for each other, isn’t it? Because no matter what our role or kink, remember we’re all partners first.
Honestly, there’s just too many folks down on themselves in the kink community. Any time you hear that inner voice ask yourself “Who says.” And then? Ask yourself “who else says?”
You deserve a little distance. Give yourself some.
i want men to be able to emotionally connect with people they don’t plan on having sex with. i want men to stop assuming i am planning on having sex with them because i make an effort to engage with them emotionally. i want men to stop feeling personally betrayed by the fact that i engage deeply & genuinely with people regardless of whether i desire them sexually, because i value people & seek to understand & connect with them regardless of sexual attraction
Would I like to have sex with you? I might! For that matter would you like to have sex with me? Perhaps! Does that have anything to do with whether I’d take steps in that direction?
If you’re not surprised when I say “probably not” it’s because we both understand how improbable it is that we’d both want to enough to overcome all the practicalities that stand in the way of either of us saying yes. And finding time. And not being at least somewhat entangled in other relationships, other interests, other obligations.
And so chances are neither of us would act. Or do more than briefly consider it.
So. Little story.
A friend of a friend (real, someone I met though never said much to) used to stand on a corner in Manhattan and quietly murmur “want to fuck” to every woman who walked by.
Every few days someone said yes.
His success rate was somewhat better than the average singles nightclub “players.”
The point being that lots of women want to fuck. The idea of “sexual scarcity” is more in your head than any kind of fact of life.
And once that realization percolates then the corollary comes through too: everything isn’t just about trying to get laid. Every interaction with a woman doesn’t have to be about getting laid.
And once that notion settles in it’s genuine cool how many awesome, entirely collegial, even affectionate relationships you can have with women.
Note: it’s not like you wouldn’t still check out her butt if she’s cute. Any more than she wouldn’t check out yours.
But the awesome thing about women you’re truly just friends with is… you never become each other’s exes either. And sometimes you even become each other’s confidant, wingman, and lifelong friend.
Sex is surprisingly easy. Friendship is hard. Make friends.
Once you really get this it’s surprisingly hard to “un-hear” it.
Honestly. Few of us would let anyone treat a stranger as badly as we tend to treat ourselves.