Same story for evil cops. Environments that allow predators and abusers to thrive and be protected are going to fill up with predators and abusers no matter how good the people around them are.

It happens in a lot of fields. Cops, social workers, priests, volunteers who work with kids, foster parents. Predators operate at their peak in positions of authority where they can act unquestioned.

Might want to add abusive “Doms” and “Daddies” in the D/S community…




Ducking glass “keyboards!”  

How many times to people in the English speaking world actually mean to type “duck” anyway, vs all the times they actually wanted to type “fuck” or “dick?”

I just did a voice-to-text test on my phone and it transcribes “fuck” just fine.  So it’s not just Apple or Google being prissy.  It’s just autocorrect being incorrect.

So… what the duck, autocorrect?  Don’t be a duck.  Duck you, you limp-ducked duckwad.

No, I don’t feel better.



To answer the tag from @daniredux

Nope. Real men never use the phrase “real men.” It’s like how smart people don’t have to say they’re smart.

AHAHAHAH!!!!  “Real” men!  AHAHAHAH!!!!

Yeah, “real man” = “slavishly cut away all the parts other ‘real men’ cut away.”  

My favorite story about masculinity, from an old pre-toxic-masculinity (and also pre-animal-rights) men’s author.  

So a Spanish matador had had a spectacular victory in the bull ring.  Afterwards all his friends and fellow matadors joined him at his place for a night of drinking and dining.

After the dinner the great matador put on an apron and started washing dishes.  “Oh Matador, his friend said, do you think washing dishes is masculine?”

The great matador threw up his hands and roared “EVERYTHING I do is masculine!”

And you want to know something?  Goddamn right!

If you’re a man, however you choose to define “man,” then by definition everything you do is “masculine.”

The whole “real man” business is strictly about anxiety, conformity, timidity, insecurity.  

Whether you wrestle women and fuck bears or skip to work carrying a purse, if you’re a man you’re a real man, period, full stop.

Me?  I know where your clitoris is.  I care if you’re a PhD or CEO because good for you!  Fun, flirtatious, fit, and friendly?  Great!  Everybody should be those things, not just women.  And… wait a second… “chaste?”  What does that have to do with anything?!?!?  Because, yeah, “real men” don’t want you to want to have sex with us either, I guess… which I suppose makes them either gay men, asexual men, or incels – all of which are, you know, still men.

Fucking gender is such an idiotic social construct!

Ahahah! Yeah, this!

WTF with people thinking random gay people need to try switching orientations just to “make sure?” When, yeah, most of the folks who say it wouldn’t want to try it.

Look. There are almost always plenty of people who’d want to have sex with you if you’d just give them a chance. If you don’t think so you’re probably just not paying attention.

So why go out of your way for someone who clearly doesn’t want to?

Maybe it’s because I’m older, or perhaps because I’m a man, when someone with B or C or sometimeseven D cup breasts say “hope they’re not too small” I wonder how big they imagine breasts are “supposed” to be. And according to who?

And maybe it’s because I’m a man but I wonder if it’s like men worrying their dicks are small, even when they’re average or even bigger than average.

It’s not that breasts or dicks are never small. It’s that a) it rarely seems to matter as much to their partners as it does to them, and b) very often the person would look funny or even disproportionate if their bits were bigger.

I’m asking because it seems like such a source of radically unnecessary suffering.


He asked me if it hurt….

As he shoved himself inside me. I nodded, tears rolling down my face. He replied “good, it’s supposed to” as he kept using my little hole…

Just a little check in for the boys in the back: it’s only supposed to hurt if she’s into it. The rest of the time? If it hurts you’re doing it wrong.

Even in kink, when you put it inside your sweetie if it hurts you’re probably doing it wrong.

You know that meme about how the clitoris is the only organ “designed” to receive pleasure? Here’s a little bonus anatomy lesson: the dock is the only organ designed exclusively to caress.

Think about that next time someone says it’s supposed to hurt. If it hurts you’re not using it the way you’re meant to use it.




This right here ^^^

Easy on overbroad assertions about sex and gender there, champ.

Not to be all pedantic but there are a hell of a lot of women who gleefully submit to Doms they wouldn’t trust to feed their goldfish!  And one of the big reasons they do so is they’re confident and independent enough not to mistake their kink for their personal identity.


girls are still shaming other girls for masturbating…. like grow up and buy a fucking vibrator sarah it’s almost 2018

OMFG!  Please!

There used to be this cool progressive sex-ed-for-adult-women website called, I think “The Cherry?”  Anyway, I’ll never forget a video roundtable with the major contributors where they talked about all the pressure and stigma they felt about masturbating.

One of the real eye-openers was one who said “growing up we told each other ‘yeah, that’s something only guys need to do,’ girls are ‘better’ than that.”  And then she shook her head.

I mean.  Don’t shame girls for anything that isn’t literally shameful.  But especially not for masturbating!

(And as for boys shaming girls for masturbating, what the actual fuck?!?!?)


“almost every woman i have ever met has a secret belief that she is just on the edge of madness, that there is some deep, crazy part within her, that she must be on guard constantly against ‘losing control’ — of her temper, of her appetite, of her sexuality, of her feelings, of her ambition, of her secret fantasies, of her mind”

— Elana Dykewomon “Notes for a Magazine"

Society’s trick is to raise everyone to believe half of humanity are some kind of cross between devils and angels, enforcers of propriety and objects of lust, to be “respected” or even “worshiped” on the one hand but also denied opportunities, respect, authority, and compensation for being “little ladies.”

Oh, also!  You’re accused of being “hormonal” on a monthly basis by… men who wake up every morning with a frickin’ erection!

I promise, promise, promise it’s not you who’s on the edge of madness.  Or if you are it’s because society’s set up to systematically and methodically drive you crazy.


Boys are mean.

Heh. Denial is such a limit for me.

I know there’s way better ways of measuring sexual satisfaction and enjoyment than basic orgasm counts. And I know some people can’t come, or have “squib” orgasms, or have terrible drops when they do. And do they enjoy edging endlessly to actually coming. And I’m ok with that.

But if someone gives me puppy eyes I’m always going to say yes. If I tease you it’ll always be as buildup, not taunting.

Because, honestly, I don’t need a partner to make me come. I can do that myself. Therefore for me a huge reward of partner sex (as opposed to partner dancing or holding hands) is making you come!

And so gratuitously denying you might frustrate me more than it would you, kittycat.