Sigh. Nothing really wrong with industrial porn. But it really was nice to see how people sexually expressed themselves. Somehow, a year later, the industrial porn is common as ever. Only actual people’s sexual self expression seems to have been censored.
This! It’s got to make you happy. Turn you on. Satisfy your curiosity. Pleases or maybe just amuses you if it turns anyone else on to see them.
Nor, just because you take them do you need to send them! If you take them for yourself you may never need to show them to anyone else!
This isn’t true for everyone. No one else gets to decide whether or not it’s fun for you.
I will say one thing based on first, second, and third-hand experience though: you have no idea what you truly look like till you see yourself through another’s eyes.
Again you don’t have to show someone else. It can be enough look at yourself as if through another’s eyes.
Yes, I know, a bunch of anxious men like to throw around terms like “daddy issues” and “low self-esteem” when they go snarking at women who take and send or post naked selfies.
But want to know something?
For some reason they still jack off to those photos, and
For some reason they rarely throw those kind of insults at women they don’t find attractive
So unless you live somewhere that women still wear bonnets and men part their hair in the middle, be smart of average intelligence but also feel free to send them to the recipients of your choice if you choose to! Cause choice is where self-respect comes from, not whether you do or don’t show your booty.
You ever stop to think how much women enjoy being kissed deeply and passionately? How much they love when you nibble their ears, kiss their neck, swirl their breasts and nipples, and especially when you make them come again and again on your tongue?
Women generally love when you do those things, don’t they? (If you don’t answer “yes” then we need to have another conversation first, ok? So just say “yes.”)
Now. Do you ever look in the mirror while you’re brushing your teeth, stick out your tongue and say “yeah, babes love tongues so lemme just grab my cell phone here and take a nice, juicy closeup of my tongue and send it to a buncha women!”
No? You wouldn’t do that? C’mon! What could be a bigger, hotter turnon than seeing a closeup of a nice, fat, hard tongue?
No? Yeah, that would be really stupid, wouldn’t it?
Cause women might love kissing you and being kissed. And my but they enjoy being licked! But even if you really can lick your eyebrows we both know they’re going to be more interested in feeling it than, you know, seeing it. And if they want to see it at all they’re going to be way more interested in seeing it in the context of your lips, your face, your eyes, and especially the way you smile out of genuine happiness to see them, or smirk like a cat who’s about to eat a very enthusiastic canary.
Just your tongue though? Nothing but your tongue? Ironically a tongue in isolation doesn’t say shit!
It’s the same with dicks. Someone might love what you can do with your tongue, but they don’t want to watch you brush your teeth, right? They may love what you can do with your dick, and they very likely love what they can do to your dick with their tongue! But a dick by itself, like a tongue by itself, doesn’t say shit either.
Hands though? Women see our hands and forearms all the time. When we roll up our sleeves? It’s a little like when they lean over just enough for you to see a little cleavage.
When they see our hands? Well. Fair or unfair it’s just a lot easier to imagine all the things someone might do with their hands, isn’t it? Dicks though? Eh. Dicks are just a really nice bump to rub up against in the context of your whole body… preferably while your big, strong hands are firmly gripping their hips to help steady, support, and guide them.
If you’re going to send any body parts besides your face? Send hand and forearm pics. Wait for them to ask to see (or hold, or kiss, or sit on) your tongue. Or dick.
Two tips for guys who send unsolicited dick pics: Sorry, champ, but there’s no right way to do it!
The best “dick pics” aren’t the ones you take, and
Nobody’s impressed with a pic someone else took while you were fucking them
This is not to say, by the way, that women don’t like dicks, or or enjoy seeing them, or don’t like seeing photos of dicks. Ahahah! In fact, ahahahahaha!
Mostly they don’t really want to see pics you or someone else took.
Here’s the key to all that: society says when it comes to sex men are the active agents and women the passive recipients. But really, women, being human beings and all just like you, enjoy building and making things. Including building your arousal and making you hard. And taking pictures of what they make. And a random dick pic showing up in their inbox? You can maybe argue you got hard looking at her selfies, but you can’t say she built it, can you?
I often talk about sending forearm pics instead. What’s the difference? Forearms and hands remind people of what you could build for them!
me when anyone who’s not the one (1) person i made the post directed at interacts with me:
@radioactivepussy‘s hashtags are really great too!
#this is about men who slide into my dms and send dick pics #mutuals you are loved and welcome to interact
But. Yeah. I’ve mentioned previously that possibly the most embarrassing, humiliating, but also enlightening moment for me happened when a girl sitting next to me in my car, after we’d been talking for hours, pushed her hands between her legs and said “I. Just. Want. To. Fuck.”
And she did!
Very badly.
Just not by me.
Luckily I only said something like “me too, let’s go somewhere and fuck” as opposed to putting my hand between her legs. But she clarified rather… well… clearly that I wasn’t who she’d had in mind.
Also, yeah, even if someone says “I want you, [your name here], to come over right now, this minute, so we can fuck each other, I’m texting you my address and GPS coordinates right now” then still don’t send her a goddamn pic of your dick, m’kay?
Let’s say you post a selfie – not even a naked selfie, just a selfie. And 100 followers like or upvote it, 25 or 30 leave really nice comments, and one asshole says something about something pretty minor like… I dunno… a mole, or acne scar, or stretch mark.
If you can see your self worth you acknowledge the 100 human beings who Liked you and the 25-30 human beings who like you so much they took the time to actually say so.
If you have self-worth, you get that 100 people have just included you in their universe, and by acknowledging that you’ve made your universe 100 people larger as well!
If you have no self-worth you take the one dickwad’s comment to heart, and thereby totally fucking erased not only yourself but 100 other people who’ve acknowledged and appreciated you!
And you’ve given that one pants-wetting incel more authority and acknowledgment and respect than all 100, or 1000, or 10,000 admirers.
“There will always be someone who can’t see your worth. Don’t let it be you.”
Aww thank you, shades. That’s very nice of you to say. I’m not looking for anyone though. I have met a follower for dinner. It was fun.
Pants-on meetings fellow bloggers and followers is almost always awesome. Years ago there were whole conferences just for sex bloggers and other authors and publishers and they were awesome! And meeting just one to one can be very nice too.
Good reminder that “what happens on Tumblr stays on Tumblr” more often than not. Which is actually fine. If you’re, say, a teacher and you meet another teacher you don’t typically go “hey, wanna go back to my classroom and teach a couple of classes?” And when two farmers meet for lunch you’ll rarely hear one of them say “wow, so, want to have a couple of drinks and then take me back to your places and hoe some beans?”
A lot of the time it’s like that when you meet people. Even ones you’ve flirted with outrageously. It’s a fun opportunity to say things like “wow, so nice to see your face after only seeing your butt online!” But that’s almost always about as racy as it gets.
BDSM/kink folks have that wired with munches. Doing or suggesting Doing Things at munches is considered very poor form.
Not saying it doesn’t happen. But it’s very good not to expect it to happen.
You may have giant brain-cell attraction to each other, but when you’re face to face your mid- and hind-brains are still thinking “woah, what’s this 100 to 200 pound (50-100kg) large primate in my personal space? 😂
I adore meeting followers and fellow bloggers when I’m traveling though. Every blog and every post and every follower has one or more real, living, breathing human beings with complete lives behind it. Meetings make it harder to forget we’re all really people and not just ideas or things.
Best reminder ever that what people do in porn isn’t what you see in porn, not at all, at all.
Porn is a job. It’s work. It doesn’t pay very well for most participants. Most participants stay fully dressed. The ones who do get undressed rarely decide what they’re going to do next. The person with the camera or shot list does. All poses and actions are chosen to be visible to the camera Nd to look good rather than feel good to the workers in front of the camera.
This isn’t meant to diminish anyone’s enjoyment of porn. Instead it’s to humanize the people you see in it. And deepen your appreciation for the work they do.
And to get over the idea that how they do it in porn is how you’d like to do it with your sweetie in bed.
