I’ve spent some time wondering at Dumbeldore’s rational for hiring Gilderoy Lockhart and I’ve reached the following conclusion.
When Dumbledore met Lockhart, all he thought was “Oh, this is going to be hilarious.”
I always got the vibe that Dumbledore was like, “there is no possible way for this man to be a Death Eater,” and hired him on the spot.
I like the idea of Dumbledore overcorrecting all the time.
First professor was a death eater? Lets get one who definitely isn’t.
That one was an egoistical jerkface? I’ll hire literally the most humble and unassuming human on Earth.
Lupin got kicked out by a bunch of parents? Lets go for a man who is incapable of taking any shit from anyone…. etc.
So Gilderoy Lockhart is the new defense teacher? Okay.
So then we just happen to see Lucius lurking around Flourish and Blotts during Lockhart’s book signing. Coincidence? I think not. He was there to see ol gildy ;)
This makes me unreasonably happy! Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the whole Harry Potter experience. I loved reading it to my children before they snatched the books from my hands and finished them on their own once they could read the books faster than I could read out loud. And I actually hold Rowling responsible for much of the Millennial’s and Generation Z’s astonishing academic and moral capabilities relative to their self-indulgent Boomer and slacker Gen X ancestors.
But speaking as a father and a Daddy, god damn but Dumbledore was a genuinely incompetent, manipulative, and all-round shitty educator, administrator, mentor, politician, and human being. I’d put Betsy fucking DeVos in charge of Hogwarts before I’d let a single one of the Hogwarts faculty or staff (except possibly McGonnagal) anywhere near a child. Or grownup!
Also…. #malfart! Ahahaaha! It would serve them both right!