Things to Say to Someone in Top Drop/Dom Drop



  • I’m okay
  • I love you
  • Thank you
  • It’s alright
  • I’m not hurt
  • I’m not hurt too badly
  • You’re lovely/wonderful/kind
  • I enjoyed it
  • It was worth it
  • Take your time
  • Do you need anything?
  • Do you want a cuddle?
  • Do you want me to get dressed/take the collar off/put the crop away?
  • Do you want to talk about it?
  • I’m here
  • You’re not a bad person

Top drop/dom drop usually comes from shock, guilt or insecurity about the way you have just treated someone whose well-being you care about very much. Like sub drop, it is usually accompanied by a fall in endorphins and general energy levels. Especially for aces (who I find have a greater need to be in the right mindset/’zone’ for play and intimacy), a ‘snap’ moment where you break out of play mode can throw you emotionally, and the end of play causes a similar reassessment or double-take at what happened during the scene.

Dominants in drop require the same kind of care as subs, but a different kind of reassurance.

I’m one of those who needs this sometimes

Yes please!  Because, seriously, I only do horrible, painful, degrading, humiliating things to people I like, admire, and care for and about quite a bit.  And it doesn’t matter that I also only do sweet, friendly, sensual, and funny things with them too.  Often in the same evening.  (It goes without saying they’ll be orgasmic things too because fairness and fetish, but I digress.)

So, yeah, when I’m coming down out of… what do you even call the opposite of subspace anyway… superspace?  Hyperspace?  Topspace?  I dunno.  But when I’m coming down out of it I seriously need to be giving “aftercare” (or as I like to call it, the rest of sex) every bit as much as my partner needs to receive it.

To a big thank you to @asexual-domme for the list.  Those things?  If you’re happy with what you and your top did together?  Do those things with them.  With us.  It makes a difference.