This is a big fucking deal! I’m not a fan of “Submission is a gift” in part because then Domination would have to be one too.

Instead kink is about relationship partners sharing shit, not owing it. Kink is what you do to make each other and yourselves horny, happy, satisfied, and fulfilled.

Patriarchy wants us to think it’s all about owing each other. I brought home the bacon, you owe me sex. You gave me a blowjob, I owe you a new dress. I cleaned the house, you’ll etc, etc.

Good kink doesn’t fly that way.