What do you mean by their sake? What if he’s a virgin but knows what he’s doing in bed?


I wouldn’t just hop into bed with a virgin without some pre-discussion on what to expect and all that jazz. I’d also be a lot more considerate of my partner’s emotions during sex for the first time, as it can be pretty overwhelming.

The concept of being a virgin but “knowing what you’re doing in bed” is kind of comical to me because there’s like a 90% chance that’s total bullshit. You can’t have never cooked in your life and manage to make a five-star meal from scratch. It’s just not likely to happen. I don’t care how much porn you’ve studied–that’s not how it works.

If I know my partner is a virgin, I’m able to take it a bit slower, forgive them for awkwardness, and talk them through things where I normally wouldn’t offer advice. No virgin is going to be the best sex anyone’s ever had. Sex is a learned skill tbh and there’s no shame in knowing that you’ll get better with it over time.

I told a girl I can start right away
And she said listen babe I got something to say
I got no car and it’s breaking my heart
But I’ve found a driver and that’s a start
– Lennon/McCarteny

This!  All this!

It doesn’t have to be about “the sanctity of virginity” or about how “your first time should be unforgettably romantic.”

A better analogy than cooking would be driving.  If it’s your first time, or your driving companion’s first time, you’d have a different set of priorities about how and where to begin, how much to expect, what conversations to have, and what to prepare for so that you both have a successful, satisfactory outcome that leaves you both wanting to do it again!

Same with sex.  Same with kink.  Same with virginity.

You can also load it up with layers and layers of significance.  But that’s not why it’s important to know.