What were some of the ways you learned better how o give women orgasms? Is giving a woman an orgasm from stimulation through intercourse only possible if it’s not happening already? Any tips for that?

Awesome timing! Earlier today, before I reposted a related post about not faking it! I’d been thinking about writing a “dicks are great and feel really nice but give up thinking they’re a useful way to give orgasms” post.

So I’ll say it now: give up the idea that dicks are very useful orgasm tools. At least while fucking. (An awful lot of my partners have been able to come like crazy while grinding on my dick. But that’s not what we usually mean when we say “coming on my cock,” is it?)

Think of it this way. If we got the hairbrained idea that men were supposed to come from women rubbing their clits on us we’d have whole self-help aisles full of books about the “elusive male orgasm!”

Don’t get me wrong. Some women really do come from just a penis moving in their vagina! But some men would come just from women grinding their clits on us! But but either way, for most men and most women (big reveal here!!!) clits and cocks are for OUR orgasms, not our partners!

So! Wanna know the (hint, previously revealed!!!) secret to giving women orgasms?

Use the parts that are the best clit stimulators for stimulating clits!

We’ve got lots! Just not our cocks! Just like there are lots of best ways she can stimulate our cocks. Just not her clit!

Your fingers work great. Your lips and tongue? Also great! Vibrators and other toys? Work great!

Your pubic bone while fucking can work great too IF her main way to masturbate is grinding against pillows or other grindable things! If not, shrug, use allll the other great parts you’ve got!

Think of it like this: western civilization has a fetish for dicks. We just looovvveee dicks! And we can’t help noticing that it’s (usually though not universally!) pretty easy to make dicks come. So it’s not toooo surprising to think well if half of us can come just from rubbing dicks ALL of us should come from rubbing dicks!

It would be so symmetrical and fetish-y perfect that way!

But fetishes don’t work that way no matter how much fetishists themselves believe it ought to. (Sorry ‘looners, we love you but most of us don’t get off rubbing on latex balloons!)

Once you get that dicks are for making men come from rubbing them one of many right ways it’s a super easy step to getting how to make women come, isn’t it! By rubbing their clits one if just as many right ways!

Plain fucking just doesn’t happen to be a very good way to rub a woman’s clit.

This isn’t a bad thing by the way. Unless you have that dick fetish thing where if a dick comes EVERYBODY should come. At the same time. The same way!

Most women will tell you dicks feel VERY nice in their pussies. Very!

But here’s the secret. It feels nice the same way having your balls played with. Super sexy. Really nice, especially when you’re close to coming from an awesome, wet, sloppy blowjob.

Just tickling balls? Not so orgasmic. Already all wound up with some other direct dick stimulation? Fucking awesome.

Same with dicks in pussies! Just penetration! Not so orgasmic. Already wound up from other direct stimulation of her clit? Fucking amazing!

Tip. Learn all the other ways to give a woman an orgasm. Or several. Chances are it’ll be doing things that don’t make you come — but that’s true if lots of other things men eagerly spend months perfecting, from Guitar Hero to the perfect… I dunno… golf swing.

Even if you can’t look at it ANY other way clit stimulation is still a hell of a rewarding skill to develop! But I digress…

As I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself, if a man gives his partner a good orgasm, or several, it might not make him come. But chances are she’ll be hella happy doing things to make him come. Even if it doesn’t make her come the same way. So. Like. Fucking is one of those ways.

Hope that helps. (Tip: if it doesn’t make sense, just remember: rubbing dicks make men come, usually not women. Rubbing clits make women come, usually not men. Do those things till you each come.)