Yesterday night I was told, “telling you I love you is a reward, you didn’t follow orders so I’m not going to tell you I love you until you deserve it.” my heart sank. Is this normal?

instructor144:

Holy fucking Christ hell it’s not normal! That is …. I don’t think that “abusive” is even a good enough word …. so OK, I’ll say it: that is insane. This person is mentally deranged, and you need to step off with the swiftness. Jesus Christ, what a fucking asshole!

Nope.  Not very normal at all.  

Since I like to look for the best in people I suppose if I struggled I could find some justification.  Like.  I imagine maybe he could have been attempting a risky hard-master play.  And I think there are some slaves and degradation bottoms who might have gone for it.  Maybe?

But, yeah, for a straight-up Sub who’d never negotiated anything like that before I’d say…

Nope.  Not very normal at all!

At the very least it’s time to have a little talk.  At worst it’s time to send them home.