Your blog is nasty af. It literally makes me nauseous. You don’t get to call yourself a feminist and act in completely contradictory terms. People like you are giving feminism a bad name.


I must admit I love messages like this, because they are just so funny to me. They also are great reminders of how ridiculous some people are. It’s very humbling in a sense. 

First off, my blog is not for everyone. Sure I reblog a lot of nudes and nude artwork, but I also reblog pictures related to BDSM. BDSM is not everyone’s cup of tea and that’s okay. Nudity also isn’t to everyone’s taste, and that’s okay. You’re under no obligation to like my blog or to look at it. In fact, I ask you, if nudity or bdsm bother you, please don’t get on my blog! I’m not out here blogging with the intent to upset or traumatize anyone. 

That said, I don’t just call myself a feminist. I am a feminist. I actively work to promote feminist ideals and not just sex positive ideals. This isn’t always apparent on here, because this is my sex blog. Sex positivity is not the only part of feminism I embrace. 

However, that’s what I’m going to talk about here. If your feminism isn’t sex positive, I think that you are truly limiting yourself and being closed minded. How can you be a feminist and attack someone for what they want to do in the privacy of bedrooms and with their bodies? How can you be a feminist and want to take away choice and self expression? Sex positive feminism celebrates choice. We all don’t have to be having crazy hot, consensual BDSM sex, but we should support the people who want to engage in that. 

I think a lot of people are confused about what feminism is. A lot of people don’t understand how someone can have consensual (consensual is a ket word here) degrading sex scenes and still be a feminist. A lot of people don’t understand how sex workers can be feminists. A lot of people don’t understand that someone can share their body with the world through nudity and still be a feminist. The other day, I actually fought with my Uber driver over this. We were talking about singers, and he told me his guilty pleasure was Taylor Swift. That led us to the topic of feminism. He then ridiculed Miley Cyrus for trying to label herself as a feminist but then turning around and dancing half naked on the stage provocatively. While both of their forms of feminism can be critiqued, his refusal to see Miley as a feminist based on her sexualization of her own body is severely disheartening, especially since he blindly accepted Swift as one.  Some people find empowerment through nudity and sexualization. Some people want to control their sexualization, because they know society will sexualize them no matter what. No matter the reason, Miley’s affinity for dressing and dancing in a risqué and sexual manner does not discredit her feminism. Just as it does not discredit my feminism. 

Thank you for the message and allowing me to explain this to you. I’d love to continue talking about sex and body positive, intersectional feminism with anyone. There are so many different viewpoints, and I think it’s important to always try and understand where other people are coming from. We all have something to learn through discussion, including myself. 

Calling one’s self “a feminist” is like calling one’s self “a scientist.” Not because feminism is so vague but because it’s so vast.

For instance has the scolding and self-righteous anon done any work to analyze and confront the misappropriation of erotic spanking for corporal punishment of minor children? If not then they are missing a critical element in the battle against patriarchal norms for abuse.  Have they done any work, as Andrea Dworkin did, to reconcile the grotesque assumption that forms, practices, and erotics of sexual “submission” and “domination” give an iota of legitimacy for male dominion outside the fucking bedroom?  Have they challenged, not the reality that some people get off on topping and others bottoming, but instead the absurdly imbalanced distribution of dominant men and submissive women and the erasing of nearly equal numbers of submissive men and dominant women that dominant constructions of gender impose on kink? 

One imagines not.  Not that, nor a thousand other legitimate, unanswered questions about the impact of both capital-P and lower-case p patriarchy on non-vanilla sexual expression.

This doesn’t make them a “bad feminist.” It just means there’s more work to be done.  Work that can’t really be done by sniping from the sidelines.