So why do I go on and on about women who Dom and men who Sub if I’m not even a Switch?
Because it seems really dumb to me that internalized social stereotypes leave huge numbers of people out in the dark when they could be enjoying incredibly fulfilling kinks that… they think couldn’t possibly be for them.
- My sheltered friend who didn’t realize till his mid-40’s that he wasn’t a shitty heterosexual, he was an awesome homosexual.
- Me who didn’t realize till even later in life that I’m not a shitty Dom, I’m a really happy Daddy.
- The Littles who get scolded for being “brats” who are soooo obviously frustrated (and still Little!) Doms.
- The folks who get in touch with me and ask if they can still be Littles even though they’re in their 40’s or 50’s.
- And allll the silly people who believe the myth that Dom = “masculinity” and Sub = “femininity” that they think there’s something wrong with them for liking it.
- And all the poor switches who want to be themselves both ways.
- And all the Aces and Aros who feel enormous pressure and skepticism when they take a pass on the whole slippery-bits business.
There’s not a script. There isn’t a single accurate stereotype. And every single “how to” is an opinion, not a fact.
I talk about women Doms and men who Sub because they’re the giant, obvious rock people keep pretending isn’t there, or keep wallpapering over with bushwah, and making up special words like “domme” or (ffs) “dominatrix” or “sissy!”
Nothing wrong with sissies, and nothing too retro about sticking with “domme.” But they’re not the whole story.
