Teach girls to prioritize feeling safe over being nice.
So back in the 1950s this guy, Dag Hammarskjold I think, talked about something called an “overeducated incapacity to act.”
The example he used (in the days before air travel) was two people smelling smoke on a boat.
The first was cultured and college-educated. They smelled smoke and thought “could that be smoke? Should I tell a crew member? What if they think I’m an idiot? I’m sure somebody already knows. I won’t say anything because it woudn’t be polite.”
The second was working class. They smelled smoke and yelled “Is that smoke? Captain, I smell smoke!”
I don’t know if this is a true story. (I’m not 100% sure it was really Dag Hammarskjold who told it, though that’s who it was attributed to when I learned it.)
But the point still holds, doesn’t it? It’s nice to assume the captain knows what’s going on and is dealing with it. It’s safe to say “smoke” when you smell smoke.
We condition huge swaths of our society to be nice at the expense of feeling safe.
In reality you can be both. But if you have to choose? Choose safety.
Girls, yes. Boys too. Even cultured, college-educated people.
